SG

Packed my blog and moved into a new one!

2009-11-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

Sooooooo, I know this might be sudden for you, but I'm changing blogs. I think I might leave this one here for a while (because I'll feel so bad if I delete it), but I'll be posting to my new blog (with all my imported posts from this blog of course). I hope you'll join me for this semi-new adventure.

How Far I Got With A Bachelors of Art

http://howfarigotwithaba.blogspot.com/

XOXOXO
-SG

10 Things About Me

2009-11-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

1. Carl Rogers is probably one of the most influential role models in my life, let's just say I'm a strong believer in doling out unconditional positive regard
2. I have braces, they are midnight blue, so sexy
3. My left optic nerve is bigger than my right optic nerve
4. When I was a kid, I never mistreated a single stuffed animal in my care
5. I have 2 best friends that I've known since high school
6. I love being geeky, I think it's cool (although sometimes I get reality checks, hahaha)
7. I have the most !@#%$-ed stream of consciousness ever
8. Was told by a "psychic" relative that I was going to live a life of celibacy
9. Had fooled around with about 4 guys before he was told #8
10. I used to be allergic to eggs, weird eh?

Do you think I should change blogs?

2009-11-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

Check out my possible new layout and website name. What do you think, yay or nay?

http://howfarigotwithaba.blogspot.com/

Drank on Friday, felt like !@#$ on Saturday, and now watching Julie and Julia on Sunday

2009-11-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

Okay let's start with Friday.

My coworkers and I went out for what I thought was going to be a casual, almost semi-formal dinner, but what it ended up being was even better. The evening started off with our boss saying, "everyone must drink tonight." And that's when the sh*t hit the ceiling. Now I was originally hesitant about over-ordering, given that our boss was taking care of the bill, but that didn't stop one of our more artsy coworkers to order up a storm. Hot sake, cold sake, long island iced tea, a pint of this and a pitcher of that. Cheers and "drink, drink, drink" could be heard, quite loudly I think, from our table. The cherry on top of the ice cream? The owner came with a round of free shots and we swallowed it whole like.... [censored sexual thought]. It tasted like cinnamon dentyne.

Now, I don't drink much. Actually to be honest, I only started drinking this year. Everything tasted terrible, but clinking glasses and the laughter of good times, who could pass up on that. I've always thought that even though alcohol was a disinhibitor (which means it makes you do things that you wouldn't have done if you weren't drunk), I would be relatively immune to such effects. At the time, I thought, I'm pretty in control but the days following, I thought I may have been a bit much, especially since it was with coworkers.

On Saturday, I felt like !@#%^. What didn't help was that my oldest sister and her 2 monsters decided to come over, in addition to the two boys from upstairs. Did I mention I live in a basement suite with my mother (and little brother) and our landlords live above us? They are in the fisheries industry and smell so horrible so much of the time and lack an adequate standard of hygiene. Oh, did I mention that they like to "borrow" food and other household items from us and never return them even though they make well over $100,00 a year. Our cumulative family income is not even half of that, I want to say not even a quarter but that may be overexaggerating. I pay half of the rent and hmm... sometimes half of the food, all of the internet and likewise the phone, and thankfully not cable, because we don't have it. Now it wouldn't be so bad if we didn't live with uncultured, ill-mannered brutes...

Now I was pretty sour and a little hung over today, but then I found Julie and Julia and I've got to say it warmed my heart (if not my stomach, seriously, they borrow food from us). I'm going to finish it off and then get started on the hundred odd things that I have to do before this day, year, and degree is over.

But I think I've regained a bit of the blogging passion again. That makes me happy. (Btw, I just noticed, 3 followers now! That's awesome. I'm love love lovin' this adventure.)

You're gay,
-SG

Let me set you up he said...

2009-11-01T17:14:00.001-08:00

Okay, so remember that doctor that I talked to ohh so many years ago, he calls me again today and asks me if I want a girlfriend. What was really weird about the conversation was that he was really trying to sell that she was a virgin and how she was "fresh." I'll be honest, I felt a little sick.

He also was mentioning how he would totally do her too but she was too young. Now I'm double sick.

I told him that I was still getting over my other relationship, which is still kinda true. And then he said, "sometimes when you treat women like sh*t, they'll be all over you." I'll be honest, I actually thought for a moment about the merit of the statement, until reality set in again and I realized that I was starting to justify being a d*uchbag. And it scared me. I think that's how "nice guys" become "d*ckheads." I want to be a nice guy and win out at the end. Maybe I just have to be more coy eh boys? Hahahaha.

I've had 3 weird conversations this week, and this was just one of them.

Debates that make my head want to explode

2009-11-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

Debate question: Should Canada's judiciary be made more representative by imposing policies to make it more representative?

Majority opinion: No, we should not ensure the judiciary is more representative through policies because then we'd appoint less than qualified judges. What structural inequalities? We think having a group of white, middle-aged, middle to upper-middle class males ensures that the interpretation of our laws will be as impartial and unbiased as possible. This group is just better, even if they haven't experienced a majority of the experiences of the Canadian population. Female and minority judges just don't make the cut, if they just worked harder they could become part of the judiciary too.

My opinion: Excuse me while I go puke on myself.

Seriously I had to debate in this context. Myself versus three or four others. I was just thinking, am I really in an academic setting right now? What the f*ck is going on?

A very surprised,
SG

Conversations with mother

2009-11-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

{At the supermarket}

SG: "This toilet paper is satin soft and this one is double ply" [They were both the same price]

Mama Gay: "Double ply, satin soft means thin and expensive" [Referring to the fact that you have to wipe with twice as much paper]

{At the dinner table}

Mama Gay: "Umm... SG, you just ate your brother's portion."

SG: "He's been up longer than I have, he had his chance."

{On Halloween}

Mama Gay: "My dance instructor is holding a special dance event today."

SG: "So it's going to be scary dancing today?"

I am single, hear me roar.

2009-10-31T23:52:00.000-07:00

I am single. I am single. I am single. Definitely. For sure. Got to get in the mindset again. Single. Single. Single. Single and horny. Single.

Hahaha, I'm sure I'll be loving it in no time. Think I should employ some systematic desensitization to get over the feelings?

Guess who got a small bag of candy from his little brother. *gobbling down smarties and reese's pieces*

Happy Halloween. Guess what I dressed up as? A nerd, of course. My regular wardrobe easily converts into nerd wear. That's not sad at all, hahaha.

Ohh, did I tell you I got the best $30 haircut this past week. I think it's the first time I've left a salon satisfied. Although... I don't know if I should be doling out the cash for haircuts when I'm 30 grand in debt. Hahaha... that'll fix itself... somehow... Damn these expensive braces.

Cheers,
Stay-at-Home Gay

By disco stick she means....

2009-10-24T20:20:00.000-07:00

So I was playing some music off of my iPod when it shuffled to Lady Gaga's Lovegame.

The lyric of interest was "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick." My brother, who just started grade 8 this year, came up to me and re-sang this verse as "I wanna take a ride on your... [and then he yells] DICK!" I think he gets the euphemism.

Love and Laughs,
Stay-at-HomeGay

Glee!

2009-10-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so has anyone been watching Glee? I am in love with this show.

In particular, I love the male solos, sooooo hot. I'm surprised a show like this is doing so well, but I'm glad. There's definitely some gender role flexibility occurring as well, so its popularity is definitely a good sign. (Although Finn's character does seem unbelieveably unintelligent sometimes)

But on the whole, Go Glee!

Cheers,
SAHG

A friday in the life...

2009-10-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

I would like to start off by apologizing for the lack of academic discussion this year. I'm doing some sensitive research that I am forbidden to speak about. I've read a few interesting articles, but I found the subject so esoteric (and let's be honest, boring) that I decided not to blog about it.

What I can talk about are the participants I run in my research. Typical college aged sample, but of course everyone is different which makes it fun for me.

Today was a really good day. My colleague was going to run my ex-bff. The abridged version, he was a paranoid, critical male who likely had an anxious ambivalent attachment style. I really wanted to look at his survey results at the end of the study, but unfortunately he didn't show up. He probably had a new plaything to terrorize.

On a much lighter note, THE hottest guy came in today. He was so amazingly delicious that I thought I was going to lose my sh*t. I have yet to meet a guy who could do that to me upon our first meeting. Let me try to describe him. Black hair, tall, ohh glasses!, skinny but muscular build, fair skinned and to top it off playful and positive personality (oh, and I could totally see his nipples through his shirt). Sure I probably didn't do him justice. Maybe I should have stuck with a long string of suggestive cat noises.

I'm blogging on the bus today. I don't really feel like doing any more work today. I got up at 5am and left the lab at 6pm. It has been a long day and I feel very dirty and greasy. When I went to buy sushi, the cashier told me to grab another pack at no charge. Cheap Fridays at the sushi place on campus, I should remember.

I guess I'll end with, I need to get laid. Real bad. Hahaha.

Political Science is X_X

2009-10-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

Is it sad that I find the Canadian system of government immensely boring? Apart from the occasional name-calling and backdoor deals, it's just one lonnnnggg dry read. But I must persevere, so that I can at least have a basic understanding of politics.

Oh my gosh, Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize. I really wasn't expecting that. I wonder if the same was true when Pearson won. I was skeptical at first, I'll be honest. But I guess he deserves it...

I was at the lab for 8 hours this Thursday. It was too much. My brain is fried.

I ate a bowl of fried rice, a bowl of cereal, a skor bar, a slice of pizza, 2 slices of pumpkin pie, and a bowl of pasta today. Wow, that sounds like a lot more than I thought.

Hahaha, okay okay. I was bored yesterday night, so I shaved my legs. Just shaved them clean. No one will see since I'm not going to be wearing shorts till a long time. Here are some observations/thoughts post-shave:

1) My arms seem very hairy now.
2) I can't wait until it grows back, I wonder if it'll grow back thicker and more wiry.
3) Eh, it's not that smooth.
4) It feels like sister's legs *shudders*
5) So it wasn't the hair that was making my legs look big...

As you can see, I'm really busy doing important work. Have a great long weekend everyone. Happy Thanksgiving!

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Remembering...

2009-10-04T02:14:00.000-07:00

There are some special moments that I've had with Chris that I wanted to share and write down so I don't forget down the line.

Moment #1:

Lying on top of him on his couch and attempting to tickle him.

"I'm not ticklish," he says.

So I change tactics and go for his sides. His arms quickly go down to block with a cute and innocent smile on his face.

I stop and kiss him instead.

Moment #2:

At the pier, overlooking the water. It's raining. His umbrella held over our heads and he moves in for a kiss.

Moment #3:

"I want to be your boyfriend and mate," he says.

"I want you to be," I say.

It's moments like these that make it so impossible for me to move on. How can I when I have a chance with him. I'm going to gamble it for a while longer, I'm all in.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Another week another post.

2009-09-26T13:46:00.001-07:00

I felt like blogging today and guess what? Exactly one week from my previous one. I suppose I'm falling into a pattern.

Work:

I hosted a big and fancy drinking event yesterday and it made me feel real good. Got to drink a bit with my new coworkers, my boss is wild hahaha. Also got to get out there and meet people. It was great and then I went to the lab right afterward, red faced and more clumsy than usual.

Chris:

My feelings for him are fluctuating, but they never sway all the way to detachment. I just don't want to give up that hope that things will get better. Call it naievty or irrational optimism, I want things to turn out better. I want to believe in a world where we can make it through hard work and perseverance. I saw him again today... he has a way about him that I can't help but love...

Andrew:

A weird character has appeared in my life, Andrew. He kind of has a lonely past, so I wanted to befriend him and get him to open up. Little did I know a sh*tstorm was a brewing in the distance. Turns out, he has become a club and gym scene gay. Interacting with him is pretty superficial and he gets pretty b*tchy when he isn't in the limelight.

Ohh, one of my besties knows him too, and I think he's starting to get pissed off at Andrew. You see, on facebook, Andrew has about 600 friends, yet he's texting me on an almost daily basis. Might I also say, I've only actually met Andrew three times, twice at different parties and another time was movie with friends. We haven't ever talked much.

He's also a slutbag. He has a "boyfriend" yet he still talks about going to parties for the "opportunties". Ughhh.... really, are these the people I attract?

Besties:

Going out with besties in 2 hours. I really need to see them. They are the glue that keeps me together as a person. They bought me a new computer monitor this year (as mine was from the early stone ages) and one of them even offered to b*tch Andrew out for some things he had texted me. I'm glad I have them, they are my secret source of optimism and good energy. I'm going to need to dip in there a few times this year.

Cheers guys,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Pulled my lower leg muscle! Ouch!

2009-09-19T00:01:00.001-07:00

I don't know how, but in the minutiae of my everyday routine, I pulled the muscle on the back of my lower leg. Not while I was moving, not while I was working as a tour guide, but just in living my everyday life. I feel like that's my body's way of telling me that I'm aging or that I might be pushing myself to hard. A fellow co-worker of mine was telling me that it all goes downhill after 20. How reassuring... thanks for the sentiment.

Chris is going through an rapid downward spiral financially and though I try to be there for him the best I can, I know that he is probably the only one who can pull himself out and that it will probably be quite some time. Damn you failing economy.

I fear graduation. It means real life. Luckily I'm taking a year off to figure things out and basically take the opportunity to work in a bunch of different fields.

I've been talking with the good sister for a few days now via webcam. It actually feels like she hasn't left at all. She seems pretty happy so far, which is good. Let's just hope she finds some employment soon. I might even fly out to see her during Spring Break, it'll be a nice and fairly cheap act of spontaneity.

Living with mother has been settling. At first, we fought a LOT, but we've come to adapt to one another and things are... fairly good. I think the key is going to school 5 out of 7 days of the week. Hahaha, no no, she's great.

That's all for now. Peace, love and all that good stuff.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

First Week

2009-09-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

So busy. It's just running from one place to another.

Took mother to the doctor yesterday and watched her get about 10 shots... not pleasant, but I was there for emotional support. Had a going away dinner with sister and saw her off at the airport, what will I do without her (I have a lot more bills and a mother to care for now).

I'm trying to speed through lab coordinating. I make 90% use of my time in the lab and the other 10% is casual conversation, then I'm out.

Running to the bookings job. The general inquiries alone are slowing me down, but when the clock strikes, I'm out of there.

I had my first dream about another guy today. He took me out, enjoyed my company, and genuinely appreciated me for me. I haven't had that in a while and it's not like Chris is in any capacity to provide that to me. But at the same time, of course my imagination would create the perfect guy who met my needs.

I'm behind in readings. ME, BEHIND! *gasp* Going to hit the books.

Update: Wait wait, the doctor that mother goes to is SUPER HOT and supposedly single. Why would a hot, rich, male doctor be single you ask? Perhaps, I need to get in his pants to find out. Oh gosh, hahaha, I haven't cracked a joke like that in a while.

You know I love you guys,
Stay-at-Home Gay

School starts up again tomorrow.

2009-09-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh! I didn't do any pre-reading this year. I feel so unprepared. Thankfully I'll be doing a lot of research this year... and hopefully only one large paper.

Ahhh! It's my last year and then off to the real world. Ahhhh! I still want to Ace my courses but I also want to make friends and have more fun in my last year.

I'm not ready to graduate. What was I thinking.... Ahhhh!

Wish me luck tomorrrow, I'm still prepping todo lists at the moment and updating my calendar.

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Quick Moving Post

2009-08-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

Super last minute move tomorrow. I spent my day off (which I took off due to ridiculous fatigue) packing. I think I'm good. I'm just really worried about not having internet for a while. I think I might pull my hair out.

So bare with me as I move, I hope to be up and online again in a weeks time or else I might pass out from withdrawal symptoms.

Love you lots as always,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Tour Guide Drama

2009-08-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently a few secret shoppers came by while we were doing our tours and someone did not perform adequately enough and so was fired. Our manager tried to defend our staff but the higher ups won in the end. I still don't know who got fired, but I hope it's not the person I'm thinking of.

Oooo, one of the research assistants at the lab works really close by to where I work. I kind of watched him from a distance when I had spare time. He's really cute. He made me a better tour guide, Hahaha, by keeping me smiling.

I helped mother pay for her car insurance and now I'm in the negatives. She also wanted us to move into this cockroach infested sty to save $100. They were in the refrigerator for gosh sakes.

Needless to say, the move is quite stressful. Bills need transferring, things need to be boxed and moved. Unfortunately, since I wasn't expecting to move, I didn't book anytime off work. So it's essentially a 41 hour work week for me and then during spare time, moving. I'm surprised at how calm I am about everything, didn't even throw one tantrum (although if some new issue comes up, who knows).

Tired... but at least I'm makin' some money.

Cheers,
Stay-at-Home Gay

I think once a week is all I can do.

2009-08-16T11:49:00.001-07:00

I'm expecting life to be very busy these days. I was planning on heading out to the park today, but I think I'm a bit too tired.

So I'm going to be lab coordinating and booking for a year, while taking courses. I want to do a research presentation next year, so I'll need to write a research paper. My lab co-workers tell me that I should take a break before September starts and I guess I'm really starting to consider it.

Maybe a week or two... or three. So I'm thinking I won't be able to post everyday like I used to, which is unfortunate, but life changes I suppose.

Hahaha, sorry, I guess I'm feeling a bit down today. Good sister is moving far away and a really good friend is leaving for her home country next week.

Oh I'm also moving back home... now that good sister will no longer be available to take care of mother. Thank goodness I got a stable job this year. Excuse me, mother calls, we are going to see another home. Will I be able to handle seeing her 24/7? I guess we'll have to see....

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

I promise the next post won't be a downer. ^_^

Volunteer, Work, Volunteer, Work, BF?, Moving

2009-08-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

32 hours as a lab coordinator, 6 hours in bookings and another 6 in tour guiding, add in 12 hours of weekly travel time and I guess I pretty much have no life. I think everything will cool down in September but I can't wait.

Starting mid-August, I'm going to be doing 20 hours as lab coordinator, 6 hours in booking, 30 hours tour guiding, with 15 hours travel time. I think I might pass out. It's only two weeks though, I think I'll survive.

Then it's back to school. I kind of miss it. I'm excited to be returning, I'm doing a lot of research credits in my last year, so it's just a lot of conducting research with the occasional poli sci and nutrition course on the side.

I saw Chris a few days ago. We took a 3 hour walk together. His health is getting a bit better but it's still below average. The walk made me really happy. We talked about random things, ethics, history, our lives, etc. He's the one person I know that actually enjoys intellectually stimulating conversation. I was giddy and smiling for a few days afterwards. It's been 5-6 months since I've last saw him, so it was a treat.

I'm going to be moving back home soon with mother. She needs me, so that's where I'll be. Oh, and if I do have surgery in the upcoming year, then I'll probably need her to.

I get next weekend off, I'm excited. I need to do something really exciting. Clubbing.... hiking.... watching a sunrise/sunset.... food.... we'll see.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Volunteered for Pride

2009-08-01T17:26:00.000-07:00

Yay, it was fun. I asked the BFFs to come with, but they didn't want to wake up at 5am in the morning.

It was good though. I met a bunch of cool and different people. One guy was really suave looking but kind of scary (he talked about how he got into fights in high school), which was interesting because that's usually not something you hear from a volunteer. I met this one girl who I hit it off with instantly for some reason, I think it's because we are in the same faculty. Another guy actually reminded of one of the Mexican neighbours from the old place. I befriended the latter two and guess what? We go to the same university! Yay!

Volunteering gave me a really good rush. My brother was mentioning how much happier I seemed today.

Busy, busy, busy. I'm so glad that it's a long weekend for me. Anywho, that's what's new with me.

I'll be heading to the BFFs in two hours.... what to do until then...

Sincerely,
SG

Volunteering/Working my a** off.

2009-07-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

Returned to the tour guide business and worked a good solid 24 hours over the last three days. It was exhausting. When I came home the second day, I slept for a good 6 hours before getting up to do a few random things and then heading off to bed again. I like being on my feet though. It's a welcome change from sitting down all the time.

Being a lab coordinator is great! I do have to admit that it's taking up a good portion of my time as well. At least 15 hours a week. And then running studies for the other lab...

If I work 24 hours as a tour guide, 15 hours as a lab coordinator, 4 hours as a research assistant, 6 hours in bookings... factor in time that I need to do basic life sustaining activities... and there goes my week. I'm so glad I quit fundraising. I think I'd pull my hair out if I didn't.

I kind of need this though. Being a workaholic is therapeutic for some reason. Hahaha, enough ruminating about the past. I've got to push push push and make my future as bright as possible.

Oh, I've been biking, walking, and occasionally jogging/running more than usual these days. It's a great rush. I'm still a bit cautious when biking though... because of an accident I had a while back where I fell off my bike and rolled down a steep hill and looked like scarface for a month for so. Hahaha, I can't help but slow down during turns and especially when going downhill.

Anywho, that's life so far. How is life everyone?

Thanks for reading, I appreciate you a lot.

Some music:

Yours truly,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Mixed Bag

2009-07-12T00:06:00.000-07:00

I quit fundraising. Yep, I did. The pay is good, the job is... cr*p. I might still have to work two more shifts because I can't seem to find someone to cover. The BFFs like to say that I went postal on the job, but it wasn't all that bad. It just wasn't all that great either. It doesn't really pad the resume and it doesn't really garner anything except sympathy.

Being a research assistant is great! I get to go to the beach to hand out surveys, run studies in the lab, a bit of data entry, and also managing other newer RAs as well. If only it were paid, I think I'd be in heaven. (Sidenote, I'm getting a nice tan from the beachgoing... ^_^)

I think I'm starting to understand that Chris won't suddenly appear to sweep me off my feet. I don't know, a part of me used to think that he'd magically appear and say "Hi" and everything would be great again. Like today for example, I announced on facebook that I'd be conducting research on the beach, so people should feel free to stop by and help me out (they'd get free stuff for participating). He replied back and asked for more details about the study... and then didn't show up (or maybe he didn't see me...).

Its difficult knowing how your ex is doing. It's like they are living this whole other life and even though you kind of want to be a part of it, you can't, or at least you don't want to for fear that you may not be able to maintain the illusion of being "just friends." Can Chris and I ever truly be "just friends?" I think that would only be possible if I were seriously dating another guy... or like last time, when I spent multiple years just pretending he didn't exist.

C'est la vie. I kind of want some good ole fashion lovin'. Hahaha, but I don't want to do the work of getting into another relationship. Me thinks I should read some smutty romance novels. And that's how I'll end the post.

Love,
SG

My mouth... it hurts....

2009-06-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

A new orthodontist joined the team today. At first, I thought he smelt like cum (hahaha... he did), which lead me to think about all of the wacky adventures he may have had prior to coming to his 7.30am appointment with your fellow Stay-at-Home Gay. My teeth are soo sore right now, thank goodness for molars. Sturdy, sturdy molars.

Chris texted me two days ago while I was out watching movies with friends. I guess I'm not over him yet because I went into an emotional spiral afterwards. No one said transitioning back into a friendship would be easy, but I'm committed to the idea.

I volunteer more than I work, that's so weird. Although I recently got promoted to coordinator for the lab, so I'm pretty happy with myself.

I bought a pair of skinny jeans yesterday, and now I think I'm going to return them for regular jeans. Hahaha, what was I thinking. I don't think I fit the skinny jean culture enough to wear them (and they make my legs look weird according to mother).

Anywho.... hahaha, off to the lab I go, I have meeting to attend which I need to prepare for.

Canada Day is coming up soon! Yay Canada!

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Name Brand and Quality? vs. Variety and Quantity

2009-06-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

I went shopping with the BFF this weekend and was kind of shocked by the amount of money that he spent. All name branded things with SALE prices ranging from $30-$70 for one item. Being very curious about my own spending habits, I compared the amount he spent on this one weekend with the amount that I spend on clothing.

For the amount of money he paid for one days worth of shopping, I had spent the same amount over the course of 10 months.

But let's do a more thorough comparison.

He bought a polo shirt, a summer jacket, two pairs of jeans, and a belt. With roughly the same amount of money I bought two pairs of cargo shorts, six graphic tees, a polo shirt, four buttoned shirts, three pairs of jeans, two hoodies, a winter coat, a sweater, three cardigans, and two pairs of sunglasses.

I'm shocked.

I don't really know how to feel. I guess, I'm kind of worried that I might not be getting quality clothing... but on the other hand, I love the variety of my wardrobe.

Whats your opinon? Which do you prefer?

Much Love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Lab drama. I love it.

2009-06-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

I'm really liking the lab work. I managed to get an amazing professor, who is willing to give me a lot of responsibilities. Although, I'm currently competing with another intern (Diane) for the coveted summer research project. I'm currently in the lead because I showed initiative and directly asked for the project. She, on the otherhand, showed an interest only after I mentioned it. You should have seen the exchange of words we had today.

Scene:

Both her and I are in the room along with another intern, Rose who is already working on a project (Rose is the best, by the way, she has a wonderful soft spoken nature. Not to mention, she is absolutely beautiful.)

Rose: We really do need to do this other research project that could be combined with our current research project. SG, you have free time, you should do it.

Diane (facing me): I'm sorry, I want to do that project.

Me: That's up to the professor.

I could have smacked her upside her head. I'm sorry, but I am not backing down because some third rate intern apologizes to me. From the get-go, I have explicitly stated that I wanted the summer research project and would be willing to put any amount of hours and training it takes to get it. She thinks she can just waltz right in and ask me to give her the project. N-O.

I'm going to be in the lab for 12 hours a day managing everything if I have to. No one out researches SG, NO ONE! Muahahahaha!

*sigh* And that's my life so far. How is everyone doing? Hehehe, I want to hear stories either via email or via the comments.

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Oops...

2009-06-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that I posted some comments from my lab's gmail account. Hahaha, so I had to go back and delete and re-post comments. I hope no one at the lab finds out. I don't think they want to be associated with my personal life.

Oops...

A very clumsy,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Update Update Update

2009-06-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Gaming:
- Got the Sims 3, playing it like no other.

Movies:
- watched New In Town (Liked it!)
- watched Confessions of a Shopaholic (Loved it!)
- watched Lucky You (Had already seen it but didn't realize it until half way through the movie)
- watched PS I Love You (Subtly sad and enjoyable)
- watched While You Were Sleeping (I still love Sandra Bullock)
- watched Coraline (Surprisingly scary)

Facebook Surprises:
- Two friends of one of my BFFs started talking to me, even though I don't really know them apart from perhaps a birthday party or two

Work Surprises:
- Suddenly became fast friends with one of my female co-workers, it kind of just happened very naturally
- Realized that even though I help run the nonprofit aspects of an organization (bookings), there isn't much room to think outside of the box
- Applied to be a Subway Sandwich artist
- Will be returning to being a tour guide in a few months

Volunteering:
- Signed up to volunteer for various pride events
- Submitting application for a summer internship in psychology later today

Personal:

All over the place. Happy at times, annoyed at times too. I feel like I need to get out and do more but the BFFs are surprisingly against some of the more outdoor type activities that I want to do. Have to plan for my last year and what I'm going to do post graduating as well as start studying, volunteering, and getting references for graduate school.

I think the biggest thing is I want to grow up a bit more. Be more confident, be a little bit more manly (without compromising my compassionate side), and make more friends (like you guys).

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Oh Tim, Tim, Tim...

2009-06-04T04:42:00.000-07:00

I met Tim on the job again. He's an interesting character.

There's something about him and the way he speaks that is a bit different from the guys I meet on a day-to-day basis. Perhaps, he seems a bit more interested in my life than the average guy, which originally led me to believe that he may have an inclination towards men. However, an equally plausible explanation may be that he's interested in being closer friends. I think the alternative is more parsimonious.... right?

He asked for my facebook today. I'm interested to see his facebook, it'll help me get a better point of view on the type of guy he is. I need to exercise my psychology muscles.

Apart from that everything is same old, same old. I need to find more fun and exciting things to do. Oh, I am working out a bit and trying to keep on my feet. I think I'm growing some muscle, hahaha, let's hope it stays.

Until next time guys,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Life Life Life, there's momentum building up.

2009-05-24T13:54:00.000-07:00

Contents:
1. Hmm... Did that mean something?
2. Work/Volunteering

Hmm... Did that mean something?

Okay, so I was busing home with a fellow coworker last week, Tim. He's really cute. Appearance-wise, he kind of looks like a younger version of Chris, he's younger than myself by a couple of years. Personality-wise, he's shy and cute, very adorable.

We were talking about fairly standard things on the bus, basically tips and tricks on how to be a better fundraiser, since I did fairly well that day.

All of a sudden, he asks me "How is your love life?" I was caught off guard with this question, and responded by saying, "I'm newly single, so kinda got kicked in the pants. How about you?" To which he replied, "Nah, my pants are safe."

The conversation continued on the topic for a while. "Was she a university student?" I said no to this comment... Did I really want to go into the "Oh no I'm into guys" thing?

Anywho three things come to mind?

1. Do people ask about each others' love life so out of the blue like that?
2. Maybe I should have been more honest about my sexuality... But I just met the guy...
3. Hmmm... maybe for one reason another he was trying to figure out if I like guys?

Work/Volunteering:

Busy busy busy. I feel like there is a lot to do, even though it might not seem that way to others.

Fundraising is going good, I beat my daily goals and made up for the days I didn't meet goals. My boss even sent me a congratulatory email about the progress I've made in the first few weeks.

Bookings is so much more work than I expected, partially because my predecessor did NO work. I had to personally look over the policy handbook with regard to bookings and update the practically nonexistent informational webpage, get it confirmed by the bookings head, and then create a set of questions based on the material within a 24 hr time frame. Needless to say, I brought work home, something I vowed never to do again after my accounting fiasco oh so many years ago. The meetings are also longer than I had expected and not at convenient times. Fortunately, I have quite a bit of power relative to the amount of work I have to do, so I think it's a fair trade-off.

I volunteered at the psych lab. It seems much more relaxed than I had expected. The volunteers don't appear to be passionate psychologists either... We'll see how that turns out. I'm running an experiment tomorrow. I have one participant so far. Hahaha, I'm going to need a lot more than that come the end of the summer.

Cheers,
Stay-at-Home Gay

The Seattle Trip

2009-05-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

The day began at 3.30am. I got up early to double check that I had all I needed for the trip, shower, and have a bit of food.

The impulsive sister texted me that she had awoken and I texted her back a polite giggle. Hahaha.

It wasn't until 5am when I heard my sister and her boyfriend (the one who knows Chris) tiptoeing quietly to the door. I was ready by then so we headed out.

Upon the advice of my sister, I wore "ugly clothes" so that we wouldn't look as suspicious (like people trying to avoid paying duties by wearing the clothes they bought from another country) when crossing the border.

Next we went to pick up impulsive sister. I have a love and hate relationship with her. Sometimes she is great and sometimes she is horribly annoying. I find that the key is to see her for only a few hours a week. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible this time. Her personality actually worked for this trip though. It is a vacation after all, so it's completely natural to be a bit more impulsive and spontaneous. I was a bit jealous of her uninhibited nature (that is before I got drunk).

Crossing the Canada/US border wasn't too exciting, very standard and took about a minute or two. The drive to Seattle was nice. There were a lot of beautiful water and forest scenes. And then came the malls.

I have to admit that there were some pretty good deals. I spent a grand total of $200 on clothes, shoes and a bag. That's a lot, I think, not including food expenses and hotel stays.

Then we hit the casino. I spent a total of $3 and immediately stopped. I just can't do it, mostly because I don't tend to win, but also because it's unlikely that I would win anything substantial.

The day ended with impulsive sister surprisingly heading to bed first while my other sister, her boyfriend and I played drinking games. It was nice to get to meet sister's boyfriend, assess his personality and their compatibility as a couple, everything seems pretty good so far. They are actually quite adorable together. I was so jealous.

On our way back to Seattle, sister's boyfriend (hmmm... maybe I'll give him a name soon) set his ipod on shuffle to set a nice mood for our return to Canada. Lots of love songs and a few songs about heartbreak. I couldn't help think about Chris. He's actually the best guy I have had the opportunity to date and he helped me realize a lot of things about myself that even I didn't know. I hope to continue being good friends with him.

Crossing the border wasn't much of a hassle and I arrived home at about 1.30am today but went to bed at around 3am after showering and having a bite to eat.

I've learned a few things from this trip
1) There are many things I haven't done.
2) I still need to work on my confidence.
3) I'm happy to have loved Chris and cherish the time we spent together as boyfriends.

I'm posting in-between my two jobs at the moment. It's nice to just sit down and just write about life and how things are going. Puts things in perspective.

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Off to Seattle!

2009-05-17T05:06:00.000-07:00

Be back in two days.

Much love over and over to you guys,
Stay-at-Home Gay

And then I was single again.

2009-05-14T22:16:00.000-07:00

So after speaking with Chris, we decided that we'd go back to being friends. To be honest, I guess it's for the best, since I wouldn't feel comfortable demanding more from him. It's going to take some getting used to (and I'm not saying that it doesn't sting a bit), but I'll manage. I always seem to manage one way or another.

But being single again, it's an interesting feeling. A lot of the tension is released and I feel more sexual at least. At the same time, I have those moments where I feel like I might just start crying. Let's give it some time.

Another story for the books.

C'est la vie,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Holy, I think I screwed up my relationship with Chris.

2009-05-12T03:00:00.000-07:00

Through the magic of my sister, I managed to find out that Chris apparently thinks that I broke up with him a month ago, when I was giving him space to heal from his pretty severe illness. Now that I think about it, I should have done it differently.

So for the past three hours, I have kind of devised a plan to win him back. Basically, I'm trying to show him that I love him (that's right, I said it, no umms... or buts...) and to do that I'm going to need to travel to the place we first met. I'm in such a hurry actually, because I feel like a s*ithead for making Chris feel bad about himself for a month before realizing what I had done. You live and learn right. Rain or shine, I'm going when the first bus leaves, in two hours. I have to make this gesture work, and I have to make it soon. Come on, he's going through all this stuff right now and he thinks we are broken up, it just kills me to think that he's thinking that.

Wish me luck guys. I'm going to do my best. That's all I can do right now... do my !@#$ing best. Will it be enough? I hope so because if it fails, I'm pretty sure I'm going to bawl my eyes.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Mother's Day.

2009-05-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

Quick Reference:
Sister #1 the pretty, popular one, whose boyfriend knows my boyfriend
Sister #2 the impulsive one who says whatever comes to mind no matter how crude and uncivilized
Sister #3 the married one, two kids, a really caring and generous person

The day started off with me going to the bank because I have $0 in my wallet. I withdrew $100. I should have withdrawn more, but we'll see how far I can stretch my $100 dollars before I'm back at the bank again.

Afterward, I joined mother on a trip to the hospital for her CT-scan. It was surprisingly fast. I was in the hospital for max 5 minutes. Results come back in a week, I am hoping that everything will come back a-okay.

While we were heading home, Mother asked me to call to make sure the women of the family had prepared the dinner they said they were going to prepare this Mother's Day. I texted sister #1 (the one whose boyfriend knows my boyfriend) to see what was going on. Her and sister #2 (the impulsive one) had just began shopping. It was 3pm by the way.

When we got home, sister #3 (the married one) arrived. Anticipating that the first two sisters would take forever buying groceries and perhaps even longer cooking, sister the third and mother started cooking (Ahhhh! That was not supposed to happen). Sister 1 and 2 soon arrived (1st sister brought her boyfriend too) and they began cooking. I later joined sister 3 in the living room to move around furniture and prepare the vegetables.

I ate about half a whole watermelon while waiting for the food to be prepared and third sister was certainly hungry as well. We all were. I would have offered to help... but the kitchen was full as it is and I was suffering from some severe energy deficiency. It did not help, when 1st sister told us to set the food out but not eat it. This took about 30 minutes. I thought I would pass out or throw up, but luckily I managed to stave off any reverse peristaltic (hurling) impulses.

The dinner was amazing and I have to say that I really like 1st sister's boyfriend above all the other boyfriends she has had. Sister the second swore, told the same joke over and over, but managed to keep her behaviour at a level that seemed to work (or maybe it was because everyone was drunk...).

Sister the third became incoherent, which was HILARIOUS! She's quite adorable when she's drunk. At one point she said, "My turn," and we all laughed because it came out of nowhere and had no purpose.

We ended up watching "Zathura", which was pretty interesting. Sister 1 and her boyfriend cuddled, oh how sweet they look together. Sister 2 went for a shower because apparently her place has no hot water. I nestled myself on a couch and doggie soon came to join me. Oh, did I mention mother has a dog now, it's great.

And that was Mother's Day. I'll be honest, it was one of the best Mother's Day I've had in a long time. The family got together and managed to not fight for the entire day. Hahaha, I guess one could say that it was a miracle.

Feelin' all warm and fuzzy inside,
Stay-at-Home Gay

It's a small world afterall... and boy is it gross.

2009-05-10T11:16:00.000-07:00

Ewwww, ewwww, ewww, ewwwwwwwwwww!

Alright, so I logged into my facebook today to catch up with what's new. I saw that Chris uploaded a few pictures, mostly scenery, so I decided to give it a look. Nothing out of the ordinary... cat... sun... bridge... my sister.... wait wait... MY SISTER (and her boyfriend)! What the, holy, mother, gahhhhhhh. It sent chills up and down my spine. Chris has spent more time with my sister than he has with me. My sister...

First thought: Holy cr*p, was this just some coincidence, and they happened to meet at the park.

Second thought: My sister had recently said that she would set me up, was Chris the guy she was talking about?

Third thought: *jokingly* I should shoot myself *jokingly* (There is no actual suicidal ideation here)

Fourth thought: Hahaha, this would be a pretty awkward and weird reason to dump Chris.

Recent thought: I guess this spices life up again. Here I thought I would be bored in the summer.

A grossed out,
Stay-at-Home Gay

P.S. I am SOOOO going to speak to my sister about this. I'll keep you updated. Happy Mother's Day!

Training Done!

2009-05-08T23:32:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been inadequately trained for both of my summer jobs, but oh well, we'll see how things pan out.

Apparently, the last person to do my bookings job, just passed on most of her actual duties onto her superior and got paid to do essentially nothing. Unfortunately, after thoroughly reading my job manual, I accidentally told my superior some of the jobs I'm expected to do. Hahaha, so I guess I'll actually be working. It's good I guess. It will be my last year, so I would preferably like to make a strong impression on my university and possibly network a bit and find good references.

My fundraising supervisor is really cute and his boss, very hot. Supervisor has this nice sarcastic and laid back feel to him, and he and I share a similar fashion sense. Boss has salt and pepper hair... I find that really HOT.

It's mother's day soon, I need to buy something tomorrow! Ahhh, what to do.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

All over the place, as usual.

2009-05-03T23:15:00.000-07:00

I feel like my summer is so planned. It's starting to annoy me a bit. Hahaha, maybe I'll write down "Be spontaneous" on my calendar on a random day.

Study for next semester.
Work and study new manuals for work.
Look over GRE information.
Appointments for braces.

I'll also say I'm kind of bummed out that Chris isn't in the best financial or emotional state. I was looking forward to spending time with him this summer.

Apart from that, the BFFs are working, one full-time and the other on a very sporadic schedule, which may be what mines looks like as well. We see each other at least once a week... but I guess I would have liked more.

I'm actually looking forward to work though. I get to acquire new skills, learn more about fundraising and meet new people. A little distraction can be quite healthy at times.

I really want to go to the beach. I can't wait until it stops raining.

Sometimes I think I'm too polite for my own good. People kind of censor themselves around me because they think I'm this prim and proper person. Sure I don't swear much at all in public... but I am an adamant believer in freedom of speech. For example, I am very sex deprived these days and a hand can only do so much. Hahaha.

I will treat myself to a shopping trip this Tuesday. That will be nice. ^_^

Yours truly,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Swine flu

2009-04-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

Swine flu is at phase 5 according to the WHO, which means that a pandemic may be imminent. What to do, what to do? Go out less, and go out to less crowded spaces? Wash hands pathologically? Don't touch your hands, eyes, or mouth? These are all things I've been trying to do.

I heard that genetically the flu contains aspects of avian and human flu as well. Does anyone know more about this?

I went to Chapters a few days ago and found a book entitled "How to deal with avian flu" selling for $1. I flipped through it of course. It was only 60 pages or so. Most of the book was devoted to explaining what avian flu was. But what was their method of "dealing" with avian flu? "If you have these symptoms, go see a doctor immediately." Wow, thank you doctor, you're a genius. I think the title of the book was foolish because it may imply that one can deal with avian flu without a doctor's help and some may assume just that, if they don't go and read the ridiculous thing.

Hope everyone is taking care of themselves. If you do have flu symptoms please go see your doctor. When it comes to one's health, it's usually best to be extra cautious rather than extra risky.

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Eating healthy

2009-04-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Interesting fact first. Turns out my nutrition professor actually works for the WHO and is an international expert on nutrition. Small world eh? I managed to take the course with her in the last year that she was teaching it.

But onto eating healthy. After taking the course, I'm finding myself being a bit more picky when going out to restaurants, the portion sizes are huge (providing at times more than half a days worth of calories in one sitting) and I don't know, I just can't do it anymore. Sure I'll enjoy the food, but at some point I start thinking... what's the nutritional value? Shouldn't I be picking food that's better for my health? I'm pretty sure they are using trans fats as opposed to the more heart healthy monounsaturated.

I guess that's the price of knowledge. My nutrition professor taught us about portioning and gave us real life examples of the amount of food that is nutritionally beneficial for a person in one day. The information continues to come to mind now. I make rough calculations of my servings from all four food groups throughout the day to make sure I'm getting everything I need. It's interesting... I'm not exactly calorie counting or anything, but in a way, I feel like I am because I'm making more conscious decisions about how much food and of which variety I need to consume throughout the day (It varies according to age and gender, check our your country's food guide to determine what's right for you).

Hahaha, and I'm cutting down my intake of junk food, or as I used to call it, meals. Mother has noticed the change. She's big on baked goods like cakes with plenty of frosting and double fudge brownies. I'm trying to get her to eat better too... I worry about her health. She has way too much coffee and muffins for my tastes. She needs more variety, preferably something green and leafy.

But boy am I tempted sometimes. Like when I see an opened bag of old dutch regular chips. *drools* I'll have a few and then a few more and then I'll stop. "A bag of chips is not a meal," I tell myself and then go on to have a proper meal.

Oh and a bowl of cereal, with plenty of bran in it, is a great way to meet nutritional requirements. I have one a day because it's an easy way to get fiber, vitamin D and A, and your serving of grain for the day.

In conclusion, check out your country's food guide. A lot of research goes into it and it takes into consideration factors such as food availability, decreasing the risk for certain chronic illnesses as well as has a large margin of safety and upper limits of intake.

Here's an example of food guide servings from the Canadian Food Guide website (Just to give you a little idea):

Vegetables and Fruit

Fresh, frozen or canned vegetables
125 mL (½ cup)

Leafy vegetables
250 mL (1 cup)

Fresh, frozen or canned fruits
1 fruit or 125 mL (½ cup)

100% Juice
125 mL (½ cup)

Grain Products

Bread
1 slice (35 g)

Bagel
½ bagel (45 g)

Flat breads
½ pita or ½ tortilla (35 g)

Cooked rice, bulgur or quinoa
125 mL (½ cup)

Cereal
Cold: 30 g
Hot: 175 mL (¾ cup)

Cooked pasta or couscous 125 mL (½ cup)

Milk and Alternatives

Milk or powered milk (reconstituted)
250 mL (1 cup)

Canned milk (evaporated)
125 mL (½ cup)

Fortified soy beverage
250 mL (1 cup)

Yogurt
175 g (¾ cup)

Cheese
50 g (1 ½ oz.)

Meat and Alternatives

Cooked fish, shellfish, poultry, lean meat
75 g (2 ½ oz.)/125 mL (½ cup)

Cooked legumes
175 mL (3/4 cup)

Tofu
150 g or 175 mL (¾ cup)

Eggs
2 eggs

Peanut or nut butters
30 mL (2 Tbsp)

Shelled nuts and seeds
60 mL (¼ cup)

Much love as usual (hope everyone is happy and healthy!),
Stay-at-Home Gay

2 Jobs so far!

2009-04-28T16:58:00.001-07:00

Don't know where I've been, but here's an update!

I got a job as a fundraiser and a bookings clerk this summer. It sounds interesting, although the total number of hours I'm working is a scant 13 hours. I'm still considering taking the tour guide job again... at least I'll get some more hours for a few weeks.

I quit tutoring... but now I'm thinking that I should get back into it, hahaha, a week after quitting. Tutoring doesn't exactly garner much respect, as I've noticed, but I guess if it pays the bills (if not my huge student loan debt...).

I'm having a pretty laid back summer so far. I don't have to think about Acing all my courses or anything. It's quite relaxing. I think I'll start studying for next term a bit early this year (like starting this week or next week). It'll be my last year next year, so I'll want to give it my all.

Oh I went to a casino a few days ago... after about an hour of observing almost everyone losing their money at the slots, I decided to leave. Something about gambling away what little money I had (especially with jobs being cut left and right) just didn't feel right.

Got an unexpected congratulatory text message from Chris. I haven't seen him for so long that it's starting to feel like we are just starting to date again, hahaha, it's nice I guess. I think I've pretty much adapted myself to the current state of our relationship, so I don't see it as being much of a struggle anymore. He has stuff to deal with and I have stuff to deal with, we'll connect when we connect.

Warm regards indeed (I've got some nice sunny weather here ^_^)
Stay-at-Home Gay

Studies in Sexuality, a few interesting tidbits.

2009-04-25T11:55:00.000-07:00

There are two areas of the spinal cord that are involved in producing erections. In the lumbar region of the spinal cord, there is an area that controls psychogenic erections or the erections we get from fantasies and visual/auditory stimulation. In the sacral region (lower than the lumbar region), there is an area that controls reflexive erections or the erections that arise from direct penile stimulation. So those with spinal cord injuries may still have one kind of erection, both kinds of erection (if the nerves grow around the area of damage), or neither.

Gay couples in Canada only account for .5% of all couples in Canada and most are found in large urban areas. I was a bit disappointed when I read this statistic.

There are more gay men than there are lesbians (I think it was 13% and 7%, thus how we get the commonly referenced statistic that 10% of the population is gay), but there are more bisexual women than there are bisexual men.

Oral sex is a low risk activity with the potential to transmit HIV. I often read about research indicating that scientists aren't sure if oral sex can transmit HIV, so I thought it was important to emphasize this point. Transmission is possible, so play safe or be in a monogamous loving relationship where both partners have been tested.

The average amount of ejaculate is only about 5 calories. Hahaha, I thought that was interesting, I don't think anyone calorie counts when they are having sex, do they?

Kissing occurs less often than manual or oral stimulation of genitals across cultures.

Hope you learned something interesting.

Reference

Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., Fichner-Rathus, J., Herold, E. S., and McKenzie, S. W. (2007). Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity. Toronto: Person.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Beautiful, isn't it?

2009-04-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

Why can't the cute one's be smart too...

2009-04-21T00:44:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, so there is this guy, let's call him Greggy. So cute, probably one of the most adorable guys I have ever had the opportunity to meet. I met him a year ago during tour guide training.

He recently opened up his own online business... through this other company (he's the middle man I believe, shipping various products for other companies) and asked me to come check it out. Guess what he's selling... nutritional supplements, detergent, overpriced cosmetics and water that supposedly makes you physically more balanced and flexible or something. *rests his forehead on him hands*

My academic's skepticism kicked in of course. I asked about the science behind the nutritional supplements and was treated to a 10 minute film that told me nothing that I don't already know (that nutrients are in foods and that they can be extracted into pill form). First of all, most of us health conscious people, eat adequate amounts of food that we don't require supplementation. Secondly, with food fortification the way it is, supplementation would most likely be giving us an excess amount of nutrients, which can be dangerous, especially with fat-soluble vitamins such as vitamin A (my other concern is vitamin C, a water-soluble vitamin we find in 100% dosages in fruit beverages and certain candies). Thirdly, supplementation can never beat a consistent pattern of healthy eating. I'm sorry to say that there is no quick fix to being healthy.

Detergent... yes it was interesting, but not so interesting that I would go out of my way to buy it. It's detergent afterall.

The demonstration of the cosmetics was confusing. She rubbed some of the cosmetic on a sliced piece of apple and said, "see it doesn't brown or oxidize as fast." First of all, I think human skin is at least a little different from a sliced piece of apple. Second, what does the demonstration mean for the consumer apart from being eye-catching? I guess one may think that it may have something to do with oxidants and our skin?

The water... it's water people. I'm not paying more money for water unless I'm shown some outstanding double-blind clinical trials with adequate sampling procedures and objective measures of effectiveness.

Greggy wants me to join his company and has really been trying to reel me in. I feel like I'm just this business opportunity in his eyes... hmm... too bad, I thought it would be nice to have such an adorable friend (that's not to say that it can't happen... but I think that would have to involve us not taking about business).

Hmmm... one could say that if he makes a lot of money, what does it matter? And I guess that depends on one's values. I don't want to sell products that I have no faith in, nor do I want to add fuel to a market that isn't really needed at all. And we also can't assume that he'll make a lot of money either... I hope he doesn't put himself in a compromising situation.

Probably weren't expecting such a complicated post based on the title eh?

Until we meet again,
Stay-at-Home Gay

I'm done!

2009-04-19T18:22:00.000-07:00

I put myself on overdrive today and read 250 pages and then took my exam right after. I couldn't stand the wait any longer. My first summer without classes!

I'm compiling an itinerary as we speak. My to do list needs some completing too. So excited! Four whole months of a relaxed state of mind, wow, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

Must go to the beach, must have ice cream at the beach, hmm... what else...

Your ecstatic,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Funny randomness.

2009-04-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

My mind has become jello due to final exams, so this post will strictly be silly. lol.

My older sister once told me that she never passes gas. Big mistake. Hahaha, I point out whenever she passes gas now, it's quite the riot. I also remind her when she says she never passes gas. "Remember that time on the stairs on that windy day that you thought no one would notice."

I'm getting really desperate with the job search. So desperate it makes me feel like a child who is told to not eat candy that is placed right in front of him (Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but not for you). I've been working my charm but nothing that pays well is biting. The tour guides want me to come back... but they don't give enough work. Hahaha, then I was thinking of things I could say to guarantee that I would get the job and for some reason, "give me the job or I will kill you" came to mind (I've been watching too much stand-up).

Felt a bit depressed today, but after "playing with my fiddle", I was back to my happy energetic self. The same older sister once asked me if I wanted to become a woman (ahhh stereotypes about gay men), to which I replied, "I love having a penis and the favourable gender inequalities that come with it." (Can anyone say "Sociological...ZAM!")

Excuse me while I use the restroom,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Feels very touched today.

2009-04-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

I received an email from my sexuality professor today commending me on my personal blog for the class. I got an additional 10% for my blog and he sent me some of the comments from other students. A lot of them were really touching and made me feel like I wrote something of substance that may have facilitated their personal growth or understanding of the course material.

It felt really nice and has made me even more excited about meeting up with some of my classmates after the exam period.

Feeling a very calm sort of content right now.

Yours truly,
Stay-at-Home Gay

The Randomness of Life

2009-04-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

Told mother about my red bumps to which she half-jokingly replied, "Is it because you sleep around?" It was interesting because she doesn't usually make reference to my sex life and that she thinks I sleep around.

I happened to run into one of my BFF's gay friends. He was surprisingly more normal than I expected, hahaha, perhaps because I often hear stories about his relationships... he's wild in his relationships shall we say. Hahaha.

I killed two wood bugs so far and then I had a dream that I killed seven more.

I had a fantasy about Chris... it was hot. It was very "Luck in the Shadows"-like (Flynn Flewelling). Him coming to the rescue and then we slowly... okay, I just can't go any further, I'll overblush myself.

Going for another interview tomorrow, I hope I get it because of all of the jobs I've applied for so far (about 10 I think), I've only gone to one actual interview. I need a full-time summer job, but if that doesn't work out, any job, I'll even combine different part-time jobs if I have to.

Oh yea, I'm horny... wait wait... really horny. Hahaha. I like how with all my academic training, I still can't find a better way of expressing this point in a non-esoteric manner.

Much love,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Hmm... Chris...

2009-04-15T21:13:00.001-07:00

It's interesting... Chris has been going through a lot of personal difficulties in his life and it definitely has put a tiny halt in our relationship, well in the sense that we don't really see each other or talk as often.

At first, I found the time apart tough because I felt kind of ignored (that was before I knew that he was actually going through a lot). But as we got talking, during those few short periods between the weeks, I was surprised at how close we are actually becoming, considering we have only dated for about 3 months. He was willing to share some really personal details about how he's doing and slowly, he's opening up more and more. I like being there for him and I like that he's starting to get comfortable relying on me for emotional support. It'll be tough, but I think I'll stick with it.

Stay-at-Home Gay

And the doctor's diagnosis is... drum roll

2009-04-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

wait.

Two things could happen:
1) It will get better and not recur.
2) I'll get a lot more spots which would be indicative of some sort of bug or insect bite.

It's actually nice to get a doctor's opinion. I hope it's number 1).

Stay-at-Home Gay

Red bumps?

2009-04-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm starting to notice clusters of red bumps on the skin on my right arm, my lower right leg, my right knee, my right hip and the left side of my torso.

Seeing as I've never experienced such a random dispersal of bumps before, I'm considering several causes. I've washed my sheets, taped up a few open spots where bugs may be hiding, took a reactine and vacuumed. If I still get more bumps, hmm... I think I'll have to change strategies, go to a doctor, and maybe get an exterminator.

Has anyone else had a similar problem or heard of a similar problem? It doesn't seem like bed bugs. Maybe it's spiders or some other insect?

Ohhh new music! Kate Perry.

One of the Boys

Stay-at-Home Gay

Ahhhh! Yes! Pulled it off.

2009-04-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

Got a 96% on the group paper! I guess all the pain and suffering was worth it. Now to save the paper for future reference. *saving*

Stay-at-Home Gay

TMI

2009-04-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

1. What do find is the most exciting part of a new sexual encounter? Seeing him nakies. Hahaha. I'm so immature.

2. Do you have "a most exciting part of a sexual encounter" with a usual partner? When you're cuddled together.

3. Do you consider online cybering adultery? Big YES.

4. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex? Big NO most of the time.

5. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner? Sometimes yes.

I have a penchant for cute men.

2009-04-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

I loves me cute men. It can be something like an adorable smile or how he acts when he's feeling shy or the things he does when he is really happy, like an extra skip in his step. I love that. Makes me want to give them hugs and kisses. ^_^

Here are some cute/good-looking guys.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Mom knows the hotties.

2009-04-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

I went on a short shopping trip with mother today. We did a bit of catching up and had random chitchat. It was nice. Um... we went to the dollar store, hahaha, thriftiness runs in the family I guess, although I was apprehensive of buying food from the dollar store, chips... maybe...

At the dollar store, this unbelievably handsome man approaches mother, my mother, and says, "Hi, how have you been?" and they go on to exchange pleasantries. He was so amazingly good-looking that I blushed on the spot. Wow, I mean wow.

Then I asked mother how they knew each other. She said they met when she was taking classes at some college I've never heard of. How very interesting. Mom knows hotties.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Weird dream, analysis, personal thoughts and some light and fluffy stuff.

2009-04-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

So I took a nap in the middle of the day today and had the weirdest dream.

DREAM:

I was walking up a slushy hill in the dark while wearing my PJs. For some reason I was meeting Chris. I was walking across a wooden bridge when I met Anri an old elementary school friend that I met today while I was getting my braces adjusted. She asked me what I was doing there. I made up some something and we soon parted ways (we didn't talk much when we actually met today either, I had to catch a bus).

Anyways, Chris drives up and up on the hill looking down I can see that there is another guy in the car. It looks like he is sitting in the front seat. My first thought, "oh sh*t, he brought his new boyfriend and he's going to dump my ass out of the blue." But when I step into the car, it's actually one of my younger brother's friends. Then I thought, "Umm... he's not trading me in for someone who is not legally able to give consent right?" Then I'm suddenly at home for some reason and start checking my blog's sidebar to see if there were any new posts. When I scrolled down, I found that Dirk had made a post about cumming. Then I woke up.

ANALYSIS:

I guess it might have been my neurons firing, especially those that were used today. Anri, saw her in real life. Chris, he messaged me today (um... but I don't want to talk about it until later, we aren't breaking up or anything, it's just some personal stuff). The snow... we've had a lot of snow this year even in March also the times I'm most happy with Chris happen to be days in which there is snow. The bridge, I'm pretty sure it was the one Chris took me to. Dirk... um... I don't know about that one, I read his blog regularly, but the cumming... I don't know. I guess I have been masturbating more than I used to now that Chris isn't as available.

PERSONAL:

The thoughts, it reflects my insecurities. Let's just say, the first time, when he had to choose between me and another guy, I wasn't picked. I'm not too bitter about it because I think when we first dated, I didn't really know who I was and I certainly wasn't as confident or good-looking as I am now ^_^. Nonetheless, I worry sometimes that if another choice arises, it could happen again. I... tentatively... love the guy... but if he picks someone else again, I'm done. I probably will never date him again if that were to happen (I think this would be one of those times in which I would exert logic and reason over emotion).

FLUFFY:

Got my braces readjusted today. I went with blue this time and it actually looks quite nice. Ohh, they messed up the scheduling so I had to come back 2 hours later, but they gave me a starbucks gift card for $5. I'll take it. lol.

I met with an old family friend a few days ago, and she commented on how skinny I was. I don't know, I like it. As a person who was overweight according to the BMI, I'm kind of relieved to hear that I've lost some weight. Mother says I should eat more because her friends think that I'm wasting away and not taking care of myself. Oh mothers.

I'm getting a lot of compliments this year about my appearance, both in my manner of dress and my physique. It makes me feel good :). I'm also really liking my chest hair... hahaha... I just do.

I've lost 2-4 inches off my waist. I finally bought shorts for my new waist size yesterday, hehehe, it'll be here in a week. Free shipping and I managed to get 10% off, combined with the two for one deal. Online shopping... can be much cheaper than shopping at malls because you can mess with coupon codes... *hint hint*.

I can get free haircuts again! Hahaha, yea, that'll save me some cash.

School... I seem to be acing everything... let's hope it stays that way.

Last day of classes tomorrow, then I have to hit the books!

A bit of a long post today. I took another day off.... hahaha... I'll get back to work, I promise. I just needed another breather.

You make me feel ^_^. Thanks.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Ahhh, I should have dressed better today.

2009-04-06T23:11:00.001-07:00

So a while ago, this one guy (who was an okay guy, just nothing particularly special about him) hinted at wanting to go out. I hinted at not wanting to go out, and he gave up pretty quick. Guess who I saw today when I went out to eat with family (on the spur of the moment, they literally just showed up and dragged me out)?

He was wearing a nice black blazer with dark blue jeans. (From what I can tell blazers are quite popular these days. I see many men on campus wearing them, which makes me not want to get one now because I used to like them because they were kind of special or unique). Hair like it usually is curly but everything trim and in place.

I was wearing a dark blue buttoned cardigan with a very loose fitting white tank top underneath and brown pants. I may have shown a bit too much chest. Hahaha. Umm... I also hadn't shaved since the morning, so my beard came in a bit too.

Of all the days, hahaha. Why can't people catch me on my better days?

Hahaha, good times though. Life is unpredictable and most of the time, like today, I like it.

Oh, I took two exams in the morning today and then decided to take the rest of the day off to do my taxes, spend time with family and blog. It's been pretty relaxing.

Stay-at-Home Gay :)

Does quid pro quo apply to families?

2009-04-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Personally, I don't think that it should. Then how does one differentiate between family and acquaintances/strangers? One of my sisters is often quid pro quo when anyone asks her favours, it kind of annoys me. I tried to demonstrate how awkward it is by making my helping her conditional on her helping me back. She got annoyed, but I was just doing exactly what she does. I made a clear reference to a situation that occurred just yesterday, where she asked for a substantial cut of my salary, 20-40%, if she found me a great job. Come on, I do all the work and she gets a cut of my salary for the introduction? How about lunch? That's all by BFFs would ask of me.

I guess everyone has their quirks, but still, it is kind of a let down to my notions of family. I like doing things for others without asking for anything in return (given that our relationship is fairly strong, such as with the BFFs or family members who aren't too quid pro quo) and I certainly don't think of friends helping me back as a necessary or mandatory return of investments I've made in the past. I help because I like to see people do better and it makes me feel warm inside when I know that I helped produce that smile on their face. But I guess that's my quirk too.

I feel very good these days. I'm reconnecting with family members (although less with the previously mentioned sister), and it makes me feel like part of something really special. We're going to a nice restaurant for soda and fun appetizers.

I should get back to work, hahaha, just felt the sudden urge to post.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Stalker days.

2009-04-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Lurking in the shadows of the tree behind you, lies a stalker in the waiting, touching himself under the cover of green foliage. Okay, I'm joking, I'm joking, it was never that bad.

So my stalker used to be a very close friend. Everything was going pretty well the first year into the friendship, and then the second year, he just lost his marbles. He became so paranoid that he wanted to know where I was when I wasn't with him and he kept asking if I was hanging out with other people without him. He also liked to assume the worse and make me guilty about it. Ohh, he also tried to break up friendships that I was already in, and he succeeded once. Ultimately, I decided to dissolve the relationship.

It's been 4 years since that time, and whenever he sees me, he will find a way to get to me. He almost seems like terminator at those moments. I'm not a jerk, I'm not going to tell him to get lost. However, I think he misinterpreted my politeness... Sometimes I try to run, but he manages to catch up. Sometimes I'm at the psych building and he just happens to show up (he isn't a psych student by the way, nor was he doing psych research).

He also sends me emails referring to conversations we had 4 years ago. It's all very creepy and stalker-like to me. I don't know after 4 years, I would think he would move on and find other people who are more available both physically and emotionally.

Ohh, he also reads my facebook and quotes things from there. I also used to keep a xanga (3.5 years ago), but I had to take it down after he started saying things like, "Remember on Saturday, when you did that thing without me? How was that?"

To be honest, there's something about his manner of behaving and speaking that's unsettling.

I also think he has a penchant for men (one of my BFFs agrees with me as well), which is all the more scary.

And that's the story of how I managed to acquire a stalker. I think he has given up on me, which is good... although it was both exciting and annoying while it lasted. Hahaha, or maybe he's luring me into a false sense of security.

I hope he has moved on, I think it would help.

Why do I attract the crazies? Is it something I put out there?

Oh my gosh! Something literally just clawed at my window. Hahaha, I thought it was over for me for a moment.

Whew,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Feelin' good.

2009-04-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

That's better. I feel better again. Chatted with my sister over the weekend, swapped stories about how the men that we date are insensitive morons at times. It was great, I had a good laugh. Oh, and she complimented my thighs, hahaha, I love that kind of stuff.

My friendship with one of my BFFs is getting a lot closer and I like that, because I think he's an awesome guy and I want to be able to help him in whatever way I can. Also, I like to fall back on my friendships during the tough times and something about talking with the BFFs that's just so great. Maybe because I don't have to worry about being judged at all with them. :)

My stalker stopped stalking me last week. I was kind of disappointed because I kind of enjoyed the dodging and hiding, but I guess not having a stalker is better. I need some more healthy excitement in my life.

Um... I called about the interview and apparently the woman cancelled, a day after she booked a tutor. C'est la vie.

Currently listening to Frank Sinatra. Now there's a man who knows how to woo a guy. Hahaha...

Til next time guys,
Stay-at-Home Gay

I'm back online!

2009-04-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm back online. If only you could see my face light up yesterday when the internet was finally fixed. The technician busted my phone in the process, but whatever, who needs a home phone, I just need internet.

Someone called me to be their tutor. I'm going to see the compatibility with the parents and students next week, let's hope I get in. I'm trying to set up the interview late, so I don't have to start tutoring until later, hahaha.

A bit tired, but things are good so far.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Still without internet.

2009-04-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

I hate Telus. About 5 hrs with customer service over the course of 2 days, and they are finally sending a technician to fix the problem tomorrow, but I might not be at home. Grrrr... and why don't customer service representations at Telus speak fluent English? It makes the experience so frustrating. That and the fact that you have to talk to a computer for 3-4 minutes before being able to talk to a real person.

I feel so disconnected. I actually sat down and watched TV today, it was nice I guess, but so atypical.

I feel out of sorts right now. I think the move was too soon, even though I didn't really have a choice. I guess I feel like I have less control over things these days. I can't wait until summer roles around. Just one more month and I'll be able to just rest my brain. My poor brain.

Sorry for being a bit of a downer these days. Bear with me. It'll get better. Hmm... wait wait, let me think.

Oh some guy "accidently" farted in the library I was studying at yesterday. I actually thought it was pretty great, apart from the smell. It dissipated (pun intended) a lot of my stress and I was able to get back to work. Hahaha that and he farted, he farted people. Okay, so ends my attempt at some humor hahaha.

Here's hoping for internet tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Won't have a stable internet connection until Wednesday.

2009-03-31T00:06:00.000-07:00

Gahhhh... why must they take so long to activate my internet service. I'm currently surviving on scrap wireless connections from the surrounding area, but it's very unreliable.

Oh, I'm officially completely moved in! The place is smaller but at least it's clean and well heated. I use one less blanket now. One of my BFFs actually stopped by today on her way home, since we live 2 blocks away from each other now. Hehehe.

I need stable internet. I also could do with more Chris time. Booo, why does he have to be ill. I can't be selfish, of course, so I'm trying my best to keep my yearnings at bay and pulling a few every so often helps. O right, I haven't pulled one at the new place yet, hehehe, perhaps tonight will be the night. It'll feel much more right afterwards.

Oh even with the help of family members, I'm quite exhausted from the move and my back actually hurt pretty bad yesterday, so much that I really didn't want to bend down or pick up anything remotely heavy. But I'm feeling better today.

The move has made my body look a bit more masculine, which I like. An academics body certainly isn't exactly indicative of having a good exercise regime. But I try to get out once in a while.

That's all I can do for today. My brain is about ready to turn off and my stomach needs feeding.

Til next time, *wink* (When I have a stable connection)
Stay-at-Home Gay

Why I like romantic comedies.

2009-03-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

A theory hit me over the head today. Maybe I like romantic comedies because I have a strong and at least partially (hahaha, perhaps that's an understatement) unfulfilled desire for intimacy. Maybe I'm just vicariously satisfying this need by watching two people fall in love and be happy. Maybe that's why I'm so interested in other people's happiness and making other people happy, because it's so much easier than finding one's own happiness.

Talk about deep eh. I'm almost finished moving, there isn't much left and I'm currently typing to you from a pretty much empty space apart from my computer. Something about the move, it feels more than just a change of scenery.

Perhaps it's time to find my own happiness. Maybe watch more romantic comedies... hahaha... I'm joking, I'm joking...

*smiles*

Stay-at-Home Gay

Group Assignment = I become a monster.

2009-03-26T13:04:00.001-07:00

So I have a group assignment for my sexuality course. Unfortunately, I've been partnered with quite a few slackers.

Some individuals are still writing their sections today, when our paper is due tomorrow. We haven't even had a chance to edit everything yet because the paper isn't complete. So what I did was write one person's section for them and then revise another three people's section because it was inadequate and one of the editors told me so herself.

I just want to get this over with. And people wonder why I prefer to do work and school assignments by myself, other people (especially those chosen at random) are unpredictable. I also think that the stronger the friendship, the more reliable the person is likely to be, because they have an emotional investment to helping you out and helping you out adequately.

Hehehe, peer evaluations will come around soon though, so I'm looking forward to that. :D

Sometimes I feel like an a**hole... I guess that's why I posted this jumble today. *frowny face*

I need to hug and shower something or someone with affection. Hehehe. Perhaps I should invest in a teddy.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Random tidbits from my life

2009-03-25T21:54:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that I readily show affection, care and my more feminine side with my BFFs. But it's different with Chris. I offer but he doesn't take me up on it, which makes it harder to express my feelings to him like I do with the BFFs.

But, of course, I can't compare my relationship with the BFFS to my relationship with Chris. First of all, because they are qualitatively different kinds of relationships. Second, I've known the BFFs for much longer, 7 years (wow, can't believe that's how long it has been).

It's interesting. I hope I don't have to wait 7 years to get that with Chris. Hahaha, but moving too fast isn't a good option either. Let's see how it goes.

Hmm... Chris hasn't messaged since last Friday. It would be nice to hear from him, to know he's okay.

Oh I feel very sexy and confident lately. The swimming has definitely helped Stay-at-Home Gay's physical form. I like it. :)

1/3 moved out, a little worried about possibility of not having internet for a few days, especially with the distance education course, but I guess I could go to school and do assignments there.

Ahhhh... academia. Calming yet exciting, mysterious yet beautiful. Me thinks I'm going to pursue a masters and eventually a PhD, I think I'm built for it. Of course, I'm still taking my one year off to PARTY and live it up.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Watched Bride Wars

2009-03-25T21:15:00.000-07:00

*sigh* Loved it. It made me feel... just good about things in general. Perhaps it was the overall message of the power of friendship. Perhaps it was the references to the "perfect" wedding. Either way, I loved it. *big smile*

Ohh the music, absolutely inspiring and positive.

I think the thing I like best about this genre of movies is that ultimately there is a happy ending, something to look forward to even if there are obstacles along the way.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Packing my bags.

2009-03-24T10:15:00.000-07:00

Found a new place already. Landlord great, house new, heating functional, rent an extra $50. Guess who my neighbours are? My BFFs! I found a place right between them. Talk about lucky.

Gave him a deposit and am now throwing out a bunch of stuff so I can start anew again. I've thrown out about 6 grocery bags of paper and 3 grocery bags of garbage (mostly CDs from a long time ago). The whole family is coming to help me move, so I'm expecting a very easy move. Most of it is clothes, drawers, and my workstation (which takes up about 25% of my current space). Oh and a mountain of books... I can't keep them all though...

Haven't told Chris yet. He's fallen very ill and I don't want to burden him with my moving. I'll wait and let him get better. We haven't talked since last Friday. It worries me at times because I fear his condition will worsen and I won't be there for him. I pretty much told him he can make any request of me while he is sick, no matter how ridiculous, he hasn't taken me up on my offer. Sometimes I wish he would, so I can show him I care.

Job search continues. I'm sending an application form for the tutoring job and sent in another application to become a bookings commissioner at my university.

So many changes this year.

Hmm... what's new... what's new.

2009-03-22T23:27:00.000-07:00

I've been swimming for a few days and I can feel my body getting bigger everywhere. It feels weird. It seems like my weight and body shape are fluctuating a lot this year. Although there is something about getting back into swimming that renews my confidence.

I'm having a fight with my landlord. He wants to increase rent by about 27%, which is not even legal. So I'm either going to have to find a new place, stick with the increase or go to legal aid. I think I'm going to move. For the price he's charging, I could live in a newer place with appropriate heating. Considering there has been a break in this year, a drug bust next door and multiple shootings and arrests during the time I've lived here, I'm surprised that he wants to charge more for rent. Yes, I know that it's tough times and there is probably going to be increased taxes to homeowners in my province, but still, give a student a break.

I got a call back for a tutoring position. I just need to get a fax machine so they can send me the information. I need a job (that pays well) so bad these days, especially if I'm going to have to pay more rent. Unfortunately, I've done a lot of searching and haven't found anything amazing. I haven't found much at all actually. But I'm thinking in a month I might have a whole bunch of calls to deal with.

Life has become extra interesting this year.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Back to regular posting.

2009-03-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

I saw my ex-girlfriend from elementary school today. Our eyes met and then we both decided to play the "I didn't see you at all and I'm just going to happen to not look in your direction" game. We never officially dumped each other, but I think she psychologically broke up with me when I danced with another girl during graduation. I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently it was. One dance was all it took.

I went swimming today. It felt great. I haven't done it in the long time so my arms were sore after a couple of laps. Hahaha, I need to get back into shape.

I met an old high school friend today (she's a lifeguard at the pool). She's become very beautiful since the last time I saw her. We chatted and caught up but I really wanted to get some swimming done because it cost me $6 for the hour. $6 what was I thinking, hehehe, I'm spending like I have excess money.

Back to my happy perky self. I hope Chris gets back to me soon, then I'll be all sunshine and lollipops. My happiness does not depend on him but he definitely can increase my happiness.

Warm regards,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Some self-reflection and great deal of thanks to you guys.

2009-03-18T18:27:00.000-07:00

To you guys out there that helped me during my small bout of um... relational distress, you guys are officially my boys (and I use that as a term of endearment, lol), Masahiro, Brent, blueyedboy. Aurix, Dirky, Michael, you are my boys too, hehehe, we should email sometime, perhaps under more pleasant circumstances.

I came to a realization after getting multiple replies. It's my way of thinking. I thought I managed to firmly establish myself as an optimist but when I looked back at how I analyzed the little things, I seemed to be falling back into old patterns of pessimism, such as catatrophizing the smallest signs of possible rejection. So I'm throwing it out, and I realigning my cognitive appraisals, no more self-conscious bullsh*t. Just me for me. If Chris will have me, then I'll have him, and if he thinks we are on the breaking point, I guess I'll have to accept that. But I won't assume the worse, I'm just going to live my life and see what happens.

Oh, I got a job interview a few hours after applying for a job, but as soon as they heard that I was a full-time student, they dropped me. Hahaha, she at least tried to be polite, but still, I would have preferred a "No" instead of a long exposition.

Thanks guys. I appreciate you and care about you in a way that I didn't think was possible for internet friendships. So if you want to ask me questions, advice, or just want to talk to someone in confidence, send me an email, I'll do my best to be a good friend and help you in whichever way I can.

Yours truly,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Holy sh*t, me and my big mouth.

2009-03-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

Umm... holy mother of *blank*. Hi, I'm Stay-at-Home Gay, and I have an insecure attachment style which leads me to say things that embarrass the crap out of myself. Gahhh... I'll be sending out emails to a few people about this horrible Monday. *blush blush* Gosh darn it.

Sidenote: Aurix and blueyedboy, want in? Michael too if you're reading. Send me an email if you're interested in giving this gay a little relationship advice.

Lots of love as usual,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Hope.

2009-03-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

I believe we heal. I believe in the good. I believe in hope. It's simple.

SG

I could not take a hint in high school.

2009-03-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hilarious, I finally understand what a teacher said to me 4 years ago.

Back then, I was open about my sexuality with a few gay teachers and I could confide in them to some degree about my problems.

Anyways, I would talk to them about there not being any other gay students at our school, to whch one of my teachers replied, "they're right under your nose." Little did I know that he purposely assigned me to groups with gay students in them. Haha, but I was so focused on getting a good grade that I kind of didn't pick up on any of the signals.

One of the guys actually asked me out after high school, but I declined because it felt weird. He kind of saw me in my element (in academia in high school) and I don't know, it made me feel vulnerable and open. Talk about good times, eh.

I should go back and thank that teacher. He was much sweeter than I thought he was.

Yours truly,
SG

Everything is going splendidly.

2009-03-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

Took my French exam today. It felt very easy, which makes me question how well I knew the material... Did I know it that well? Was there a trick embedded in the exam (like in the many other exams I've taken)?

Chris messaged me to wish me good luck. He's so sweet. Ohhh, did I mention he held my hand yesterday? I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff.

I am currently in the library waiting for my next class. I kind of want to go shopping, ahh, but the issue of not having money rears it's ugly head. Ahh but the sales this week are sooo good, oh gosh.

I wear a lot of dark colours, I feel like changing that this year.

I entered a contest to win a trip for two to Paris. *nudge nudge* eh eh, you know what I'm thinking. Even if I don't go with Chris, I can pawn the tickets for cash.

Oh my sister and I talked about dating men and all that a few days ago. It was a hilarious conversation, since we appear to have had similar problems with the men in our lives. There are themes, horrible and hilarious.

Lots of love,
SG

Whew... I'm all favoured out.

2009-03-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

Start with the heavy:

I'm the type of person who likes to help and nurture the good in others. However, recently I've been getting asked a lot of favours from an increasing number of people and have started to be a lot more picky about who I help. I'm exhausted to be honest, I just can't consistently be Mr. Reliable.

There is this one guy in my nutrition class who consistently asks for my notes and asks me to help him translate my shorthand, so he can understand, which takes quite some time. Anyway, this has been going on for about half of the course and today I just point blank called him out on it. "As students, we come here to learn, so please come to class and take your own notes." *sigh* I felt bad about it because I usually am not so direct and pointed in my speech, but I was done and his lack of respect for academia really ticked me off.

Then there is the girl from my French class. I just don't have the time to listen to her long-winded stories of love triangles and her desire to remain single. She also shows a lack of respect for academia.

Hmmm... maybe I just don't feel like doing anymore favours for people who don't really offer me anything in return. I feel like I'm being used for my brains and then cast aside outside of the classroom. I dislike those people. The "fairweather friends" I believe. I want something real.

Something lighter:

I'm learning about sexuality across the lifespan. It's quite interesting. Like the amount of people who cheat isn't very high, like maybe 10%ish. As well as the effects cheating has on men and women. Apparently it damages the man's ego and pride more but for the woman it threatens her peceived way of life more.

Exam Friday! Wahhhhhh! Je dois etudier comme un fou aujourd'hui et demain. (I must study like a crazy person today and tomorrow).

Stay-at-Home Gay

We made love yesterday.

2009-03-10T22:52:00.001-07:00

Something about my relationship with Chris that just seems right. Sure there are tiny rough patches, but when the good times roll around, it's VERY good. Also, it definitely feels like something larger than us both is pulling us together. Coincidences happen, we're at the same place at the same time, but more about that in later posts.

So I'm sure everyone knows that I've been Chris deprived for quite some time. It was tougher during the weekends because I knew I had free time but that I couldn't spend any of it with him. So on Monday, I get a message from him. He sent me a few messages throughout the day, the first being subtle hints at wanting to get together, like asking what I was doing later that day (I got the hint of course). Luckily I had nothing that desperately needed my attention, (again thank goodness that I do things a week in advance) so I dropped by his place.

*play the intimate scenes* Sorry the details will remain between Chris and myself, but I will say that it definitely wasn't just sex. It felt like something more, which is why I think "making love" would be a more appropriate term. The one thing I will say is, best "making love" I've ever had in my life, so far. Thinking about it turned me on for most of the day. I tried to put it out of my mind because I had reading to do but WOW seriously, he is... yowza!

I finally managed to bag myself a sweet and caring guy. I feel lucky this year guys, really lucky. I hope you enjoyed the post. I'm hoping to have more fun filled adventures this year, especially this summer, since it'll be the first one where I am not taking any classes.

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Guessing Game #1

2009-03-09T21:28:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd change it up a bit. This is the first of the "Guessing Game" series, I might rename it, or if someone can come up with a more creative name, I'm all for suggestions.

Guess why I'm extra happy today?

Stay tuned for the answer tomorrow.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Hehehe, I'm posting from my phone.

2009-03-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

Hahaha, took me 10 minutes to figure it out but I did it. Umm... that is all. *smiles*

Wait... I have something small. I made a new friend in my French class this term. At first, I really liked her. We could swap stories and we would listen attentively to one another. But recently, it's been all about her and the conversations have become much longer, like an hour where I'm just standing there listening and responding.

And the topics of conversation have become very weird. She told me the entire plot for the Shopaholic movie and I was thinking, I could just go watch it instead of having her give me a detailed narration. Then she tells me about her 9 friends. Count 'em, 9. I couldn't even remember their names, let alone their connections to one another.

It's tiring. I don't know. I think she is disclosing too much too soon. We are friends, but we aren't that close yet.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Add a "Recent Comments" widget to your Google Blogger blog.

2009-03-08T20:45:00.001-07:00

I've always worried about missing a comment from you wonderful people out there, but all was resolved today when I found the "Recent Comments" widget for Google Blogger.

If you'd like to add one for yourself, here's the link:

http://www.bloggerbuster.com/2007/08/create-your-oen-recent-comments-widgets.html

Sincerely,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Smiles.

2009-03-07T23:51:00.001-08:00

General Update:

Feeling pretty good these days. I've definitely been busy though. I feel like I'm constantly running from one place to another. Managing my courses very well and am very excited for the summer. Also applied for a few cashier jobs. I feel happy.

Surgery Update:

I went to see great surgeon today and what was great about him was that he offered an alternative to surgery. The conversation went something like this.

"Surgery is definitely an option but you could also try a topical treatment. It has a 30% success rate, but might as well try it instead of getting surgery."

Trying it and so far it appears to be working, which is great. If things keep improving, I might not need surgery at all. I'm glad I went to get a second opinion. My first surgeon was all, "surgery, surgery, surgery, that's the only option, you have 6 months to think about it."

Chris Update:

Darn, I might not get to see Chris again. He's still a bit sick and it would suck for me to make him relapse or for him to get me sick (I'm not sure exactly what he has, so I can't be confident about incubation periods). But I told him I missed him today, and that made me feel really good for some reason. I miss him and I miss his company. I guess that says something about my feelings for him.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Never thought I'd say this but...

2009-03-05T20:16:00.000-08:00

I think I'm willing to put out for anyone who can get me a copy of "Evil Zone" or "Eretzvaju" for the PSX (Okay maybe I'm exaggerating, but ohhhh, I want it sooooo bad). I'm actually very surprised at how much I want it actually. I spent the day trying to make a makeshift copy from .iso files but with no success. I came close but the game wouldn't run on my computer or my Ps2. Why must I be tormented so?

Hahaha, as you can see, I'm not getting much work done. I tried to do everything except read today. Unfortunately that wasn't much.

Anyways, back to what's important, my obsession with this game. Here's the opening video!

Oh my gosh.... ahhhh... I need it... I need it....

Stay-at-Home Gay

Midterm week again, which means random things are bound to happen.

2009-03-01T15:41:00.000-08:00

Prepare yourself for random tidbits from my life:

I may have not taken into account an entire chapter of readings when I was planning out my schedule for this week. So I suppose it's cram time. Oops, hahaha, I love oops.

I've had a crazy appetite this week, I blame it on Haagen Dazs ice cream. One scoop and I couldn't stop myself. In 5 hours, I will be having whipping cream by the barrel, lol.

Chris is getting ill, so we aren't doing anything this week, although maybe I should bring him soup when he gets sick.

I have two consultations this week. So I'll let you know how that goes. I'm crossing my fingers for an alternative that doesn't involve surgery, but if surgery is the best option, then I guess I'll have to settle.

Oh, I read that saliva should NOT be used as one's primary lubricant during sex. No no, because certain bacteria and viruses can be transmitted via saliva, it's seem very obvious once said, but still, I think it's important to mention.

Oh and mother gave me a bag of flavoured condoms and lubricant out of the blue. Vanilla good, banana... mom, you don't know me at all. She's such a funny lady.

I "spanked the monkey" yesterday. It was... SOOOO.... good! I don't know why, but I was very very satisfied afterward and very energetic.

Be back with more stories later.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Doo-dee-doo.... la-la-la... sex.

2009-02-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

I don't know, I feel random today. Trying to get prepared for my midterm on Wednesday. I'm weighing my options, should I spend time with Chris tomorrow or not? Do we need to see each other every week? Does he need emotional support this week?

I was also thinking how great it would be to have sex in-between classes (either on or off campus). Hahaha, I don't know if I'd actually do it but it sounds very fun. What's with me and sex these days? I guess it's because I'm reading about sex A LOT this term.

Funny sidenote: My French professor keeps playing these really sappy but beautiful French love songs in class, it's... definitely not what I expected from a French class, but I'm liking it.

Oh I found one of my favourite movies of all time, "Journey Through Fairyland" at the local library. I'm trying to convert it from VHS to DVD so I can have a copy forever, we'll see how that goes.

With much affection,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Just when I think things are at there worst...

2009-02-23T22:08:00.000-08:00

Chris says these beautiful words to me and pretty much wipes away a lot of my insecurities. He makes me feel like one of the luckiest guys in the world. It's funny, I was feeling pretty stressed and had this constant stomach ache, but now, poof, it's all gone. I'm pretty close to fully functional again. He's like no other man that I've ever met or dated.

It's like the universe wanted to balance things out for me. Follow along on the wild adventure that is my life.

A very smiley,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Wahhhhhh.

2009-02-22T01:20:00.001-08:00

The less than good news first:
I need minor surgery (but it seems major to me psychologically). Getting information about it is time-consuming because there are an endless array of mixed research studies on outcomes, complications, risks, and techniques. It's eating up my cognitive resources and as a result, I haven't been functioning at optimal levels lately.

Good news :
I saw Chris again, I adore him. Je l'aime. Holding him, hearing him talk, kissing him, ahh, he makes me feel wonderful.

My situation has definitely brought me closer to my family though. I rested my head on mother's shoulder this week, I thought I was going to lose it, but she brought me back, oh how I love her. I'd lost my appetite and quite a bit of weight, which prompted mother to start stuffing me full of everything, which was a delight. She knew just what to buy, such as these sweets I used to love as a little boy. It's at times like these when one learns to appreciate one's mother's deep caring and attention to detail.

I think I'm going to be okay afterall. My sister and mother have offered to take care of me post-op, so I won't be alone. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!

I don't know how my posting and commenting will be like for the next while, so I apologize in advance to everyone. But I'm still reading. Masahiro, hold off on the blackberry, a new one will be released soon enough and you'll probably want that one.

With the warmest of regards,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Content once again.

2009-02-16T20:59:00.000-08:00

Okay let me tell you a little something about me first, so you understand where I'm coming from. I'm an optimistic person, perhaps by nature, but I do think that it also arises out of necessity. I've been through tough times (and am still expecting a couple of hurdles this year and next year) and I think an important thing that managed to pull me through was my optimistic spirit. I see most challenges or hardships as opportunities to grow and become a better person. I think that's what I like about psychology as well, it gives you skills for improvement and for the betterment of the self. I think everyone has the capacity to make positive changes in their lives and the lives of those most close to them.

So was I disappointed about Valentine's Day? Yes I was, but I saw Chris again and to be honest, the disappointment dissipated. I have a relationship with a man I really like and will probably love very soon. So how can I be disappointed about that. And he feels bad about it, so hehehe, he cares.

Such as serious post today. Umm... I'm also super cute and super thoughtful. *wink*

Stay-at-Home Gay

Hmm... Valentine's Day Bust.

2009-02-15T10:46:00.001-08:00

I'm going to keep this one short. He didn't want to do V-day. I was pretty okay with it, until my BFFs, mother, and sister asked me about it and started trying to console me. Yes, I was initially disappointed, but I'm getting over it. Hahaha, I spent three hours straight yesterday doing nothing but assignments for my distance ed course, my back hurt so bad but it was a welcomed distraction and I got 100% for my efforts.

After a bit of reasoning, I thought, I guess it would defeat the purpose of Valentine's Day if he wasn't into it. I'm very tempted to take the new outfit out on the town though, but it's such a unique mix of casual meets formal that I don't really know if it's appropriate for going to the movies. Here's my positive spin: I learned how to make something, I have some extra food to last me for the weeks ahead, nothing shall be wasted.

Except...
I still have the card and chocolates. I don't want to eat the chocolates or give them to someone else because that's just so weird and sad. Do I just give it to him the next time I see him? Will he feel bad for totally crapping out on me on Valentine's Day (as you can see I'm using comedy to make myself feel better about my gutrenching pain, hahaha)? Hmmm... maybe I should just save the card and give the chocolates to mother.

Anyways, I'm seeing the BFFs today. Seeing them will make me feel better. It's times like these that I really appreciate the stability and unconditional mutual affection that I have with my BFFs. And of course, you guys out there in cyberspace.

If anyone wants to cheer me up, find me something that will distract me, like a good song, a funny joke, a youtube vid, whichever. Something to keep my mind off of the day that I don't want to talk about anymore.

SG

P.S. Okay this post wasn't so short, but I had a bad Valentine's, give a gay a break. Hehehe.

Just pulling crap out of my ass now.

2009-02-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

Plans have fallen through people. No game, sold out everywhere, and my one backup place sold out. Why? Why?

So I went to the local megamall, used my Chapters gift card to buy Godiva chocolates (holy F-balls those are expensive, but they cost me nothing because the gift certificate was a gift). Then went to buy just weird stuff. I think I can make a breakfast of pancakes and side stuff for him.... Gahhhh.... creme brulee of course, just finished making it. Oh hagen das ice cream yumm... and I'll probably need to go out and get some sensual fruits. Hahaha.

I wonder if he wants to celebrate Valentine's Day. If he doesn't I'm eating everything. Win-win.

I feel like swearing all over the place right now, but I'll refrain. I was trying to think of a gift for Dirk to get for his bf, but I couldn't think of any and I've been out all day with school and then shopping.

Put together a nice outfit for tomorrow. An outfit I'd like to get laid in. We'll see what happens...

Edit 11.21pm:

New plan, sweets sweets sweets.

Give him chocolates, buy dream whip or cool whip, buy different kinds of fruits, bring brulee and sugar, bring ice cream, maybe cheese platter or veggie platter... we'll see, going to go shopping early tomorrow morning.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Hmmm... I'm very "sexually energized"

2009-02-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

Call it the Valentine's Day mood but everything just turns me on. Sitting on the bus, listening to French, lying on my back (hahaha okay that one for obvious reasons). I've also been having a lot of sexual fantasies about Chris this week. Like having sex on his kitchen counter top. Yea, I feel very horny to say the least.

Oh, I recently discovered I have a thing for ties. On me, on Chris, does not matter. Although seeing Chris in a tie, oh my whew, it's hard to keep my hands off. *pounce* Oh gosh. Oh I read that masturbation may have multiple health benefits such as reduced stress, better sexual relationships, reduced risk of prostate cancer and it may induce sleep apparently.

Can't wait for Valentine's Day! I just want to grab Chris (all over) and kiss him right now.

Stay-at-Home Gay

Crème Brûlée Round 2

2009-02-10T17:04:00.000-08:00

Success! Success! I did it! I did it!

Hohoho. Elle est délicieuse. Oh Stay-at-Home Gay... you did it. Talk about a big self-esteem boost, I wasn't sure that I could pull it off but I did.

Now like a good academic, I'm going to try to replicate these results.

Thanks for the support guys, you've helped me succeed in spirit. Hehehe. *imagining what it would be like if we were all in the same room*

Totally rockin' it,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Is that how it's supposed to taste?

2009-02-10T12:01:00.000-08:00

Made it. It was weird. I think I put too much sugar on top and I didn't cook it for long enough.

Is it supposed to be kind of gooey under the hardened sugar top? How gooey? It's not supposed to be a cake like texture right?

Don't get me started on not having a torch, everywhere is sold out usually until after Valentine's. I broiled the top instead, less control over the appearance which sucks but the result is the same, hardened sugar surface.

Ohhh I should buy some creme brulee and compare! Ooo genius!

Still have enough ingredients for creme brulee round 2. Let's do this sh*t! Ohhh, that creme brulee ain't sittin' right. Hahaha.

Reading about sexual behaviours today, it's... very stimulating.

A surprisingly energetic,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Consider everything brulee-ed.

2009-02-10T00:49:00.000-08:00

Finished all the work I had to do and then off to make creme brulee. It's 12.50am now, so I guess I made it a bit late. We'll see what happens tomorrow morning after it cools. Oh, I forgot to strain the ingredients before I put it in the oven, so I'm hoping it's not a big deal...

Oh instead of using a butane torch, I'm going to broil the sugar. It should technically turn out okay. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Oh I'm thinking of maybe cooking the brulee with Chris on Saturday. That way I get to test the waters cooking with him, and it might be fun.

Sincerely,
Amateur Chef Stay-at-Home Gay

What do you mean you don't have any butane torches?

2009-02-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

Postponed creme brulee extravaganza. Butane torches are apparently sold out everywhere. I spent 3 hours with no success going from one store to another. Perhaps other people are making creme brulee for their sweethearts as well. I came home very grumpy and didn't get any work done on Friday which was pretty weird. Just sat there watching Simpsons.

Found out that Canadian Tire sells it and has some in stock, so I'm going to head there Monday. Moooooooo (I feel like being a cow). Also ramekins are much cheaper at Kitchen Goodies than Zellers. In addition, House of Knives has the worst creme brulee set, really small ramekins and then they group it with the prized butane torch, awwwwwwww. I was tempted to buy it, but then thrifty gay set in and I pryed myself away.

Saw a black blazer that I was tempted to buy.... ahhhh.. but no. Finished my readings for this week and finished all of this weeks online assignments. Saw Chris, I just typed I love him, then I backspaced, I like him a lot. I really want to just snuggle with him for an entire day on a giant sized bed.

Note to self: Assert yourself, assert yourself, assert yourself, you can do it.

A big warm bear hug from your Stay-at-Home Gay

MD Stay-at-Home Gay

2009-02-05T14:01:00.001-08:00

Remember that doctor that I just happened to meet one day? Well I've been talking to him for a while now and he's been swaying me toward medical school. Sure I don't have many of the prerequisites but I do still have another year of schooling left to take most of them.

But apparently, he's very well networked, which means if I do decide to go, it won't cost as much, I'm more likely to get accepted and I'll be more likely to get a residency afterward. Here's the kicker, the medical school is overseas...

Do I want to be Doctor Stay-at-Home Gay? Sure in some respects I do, but separating from family, friends, and of course Chris. Is that something I can do for 4-5 years? I'd like to have a social life, and as the doctor told me, it's very hard to do if one wants to be successful (especially if you're going to medical school). Do I want to live that kind of life?

This year is just bursting with opportunities.

A very contemplative,
Stay-at-Home Gay

Love Scale

2009-02-04T20:01:00.000-08:00

Did the Love Scale today in class, and guess what it said? I'm most likely in love with Chris at this point in time. Hmmm... wow. I'm cautious about just blindly accepting the results, but at the same time, it does feel right to some degree.

Valentine's Day Tentative Game Plan

2009-02-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

Thanks Masahiro, blueyedboy, Brent, and Dirk! You guys are the best gays a gay could have. *group hug*

I've taken your advice into consideration and have made modifications to my original plan. Susan, me thinks you are computer generated posting machine, please comment to deny this (and the gift ideas were way out of my price range).

So I'm going with "spend less, romance more" which requires more time hahaha, and more scheduling of course.

Okay, so cheaper game, card, and a meal. Hehehe, I'm going to make creme brulee (can anyone say disaster in the making?) and probably make some small appetizers. *flipping through magazine* Oh crap, oh crap. Hmmm.. maybe just desserts... I want to make the creme brulee though because from what I gather he really likes it and I like the look on his face when he's ordering it.

Anyways, I'm trial running the meal on Saturday with mother, which means I have to go shopping on Friday and know what recipes are within my limits by Thursday. Anyways, that's the tentative Valentine's Day Game Plan, and it's tentative of course because if I fail miserably then I can always do something else.

Hahaha, I'm also reading "Massage for Dummies". Talk about expanding one's behavioural reperatoire eh? (Not all Canadians say eh, and I tend to write it more than I actually say it, lol). It's ambitious, I know, which is why I say tentative.

Backup plan: Find a place that sells creme brulee and try to get... or have them deliver it, whatever.

Thanks again everyone! I'll update you on how Saturday goes... *crossing his fingers for good luck* Hahaha, I wonder if mother will judge, maybe some trial creme brulee will deter her.

Dilemma Corner: Valentine's Day and Anniversaries.

2009-02-01T20:44:00.001-08:00

Problem #1 Valentine's Day

Okay this the first time that I've managed to keep a boyfriend long enough to actually have to worry about Valentine's Day. Knowing me, you know that I plan things a week in advance, including trips to the mall. I certainly can't do it the day before because what if I can't get it on that day and what if everyone decides to last minute shop, I'll be trampled, I will (I'm a small small person lol).

I've done some research, although it's not from any scientific journal so I'm out of my element. From what I read there are....

1) the traditional gifts: flowers, chocolates, teddy bears
2) sentimental gifts: not necessarily expensive, just something meaningful between the two of you such as a ticket stub from the first movie you
3) things you've seen them eye or that they've said they want

I don't think I can pull off 1) and 2) is really hard to do.... so on to 3)

Sidenote: I also read that both members of a couple should get each other gifts. Don't let it be one-sided. Everyone likes to be appreciated. I don't think we need any scientific research for this point.

Okay now the dilemma. How much to spend? There are two games that he's said that he wanted. One is a classic (which I personally love as well) and the other one was just newly released. The classic is $20 and the newly released is $80, so a substantial difference.

My internal dialogue:
I don't want him to feel bad if I get him something more expensive... hmm... but I don't want to cheap out either. From what I read Valentine's gifts are usually smaller than gifts one would get for Christmas, lol, does that mean I have to get a bigger gift for him during Christmas? But then it's the first Valentine's, so I want to spend a bit more and what if he spends too much. Hmmm... I really want to go for the newer game... because he does nice things for me... and I want to give him a picker upper. Is a game even appropriate? Holy *beep*. What if he goes for number 1)? I hope he does number 2) then everything will balance out. WHAT IF HE BUYS THE GAME BEFORE I DO? LOL.

Problem #2

Do people usually celebrate one month anniversaries? How does that work?

Opinions? Thoughts?

Kicking ass, being plain, and all that good stuff.

2009-01-31T21:35:00.000-08:00

Kicking ass:

Debate in human sexuality class about gender biases in the school system. A lot of people are going way off topic and talking about biological influences on gender biases being more important than other factors. This is where I start kicking ass and taking names. Shot down evolutionary arguments and then twisted them to make men appear nurturtant as well. Cited examples from Mead's cultural studies on societies with opposite gender stereotypes. Reiterated that the differences between the genders is in no way as great as the differences within each of the genders. Also talked about how structural inequalties (workplace policies) can cause a gender disparity in the workplace. I think I wrote about a page covering so many topics, I'm pretty satifisfied with myself. Although I don't think my discussion members are really understanding the question, since we are asked to focus on gender biases within the school system.... I guess in some remote way we could say students come with biological dispositions but then I debunked some of the more scientifically unfounded claims that were made.

Being plain:

I don't know about you but I usually eat salad without any dressing, it takes so good already and salad dressing is usually so strong.

I like to have water or tea when I'm having a really flavourful meal, cleanses the palate and water is better than that high fructose corn syrup stuff (even though it contains glucose too) they are peddling these days.

I like food but I like the company that comes along with food much better. So I tend not to have strong preferences for any particular food or restaurant.

All that good stuff:

Currently listening to this...

SG