Boyfriend Stories: The Bad Boy

He may not be a bad boy to most people, but compared to myself, oh he was soo soo bad and soo soo hot. Probably the hottest guy I've ever had the opportunity to... date? I am very cautious about using the word date with him, because I don't really feel that it captures our brief moments of interaction.

He was really muscular, his muscles had muscles. He also smoked, which distinguished his kisses from those of my other suitors. It was in no way bad. For some reason, the taste of smoke residue on his lips made me go wild in more than one way. The best part was that he approached me. Hahaha, that's right, I can kinda "date" people out of my league and with whom I have nothing in common. Forgive me, he was hot... real hot, I couldn't say no.

Now for the downside. He wanted to be discreet. *sigh* I couldn't even wave him around as eye candy. And when I say discreet, I mean he didn't want us to be seen together in public. So it was just his place or my place, or a very late night drive (which was sometimes romantic and sometimes a load of s**t).

Boy, did I have fun when we were together. All I can say is, "Wooooooooooo!" Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I wanted to be more intimate and from what I could infer from his behaviour (running away), he didn't want to be. The most memorable of such moments, was when I lovingly touched his face, post-coitally (hahaha, I love that word so much, I hope I used it properly), and he cringed as if I was about to burn him with a cigarette butt.

Oh and get this. He was bisexual. That added a little tension at points because he could just go "the straight and narrow" whenever he wanted, and he actually said something similar to that when we were together. That is one of the reasons I am reluctant to date bisexuals, especially one's that could pass for what our culture labels as the "straight male". There is always the possibility that you're just this side-dish and they'll eventually finish with you and go for the main course (a wife and kids).

The silver-lining is, I still have the memories of dating someone completely out of my league (in some aspects). It's nice to fall back on sometimes.

Don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh.... HAHAHAHA

Alright so I was waiting for the bus when this nice woman comes and sides right next to me on the bench. I think nothing of it, and then the funniest sh*t starts happening.

She reaches into her purse and pulls a bunch of things out, but a Mcdonalds burger wrapper falls out and just blows very slowly into the air and then just lands right in front of my feet. I'm just jiggling with laughter, but I thought, compose yourself, it's just a wrapper, O wait I should figure out what kind of burger she was eating and then blog about it later. I just couldn't read it for some reason, but at the same time, my intense focus on this oil stained wrapper added to the hilarity of the situation. Okay just stop, or you're going to laugh so hard you'll probably get a slap in the face. So I let it go.

But then, she adds to my delight when she starts throwing ketchup packets on the ground, right in front of her. The way she threw it seemed so calculated that I thought I was going to pee myself from suppressing all that laughter.

I was like, What the f*ck. And then, the piece de resistance, she asks this old chinese guy, who clearly doesn't speak english, "Do you got a light", and then gets angry at him for not responding. O life.

Now that I think about it, I think we need something like afterelton.com

They do hard work over there. They rightly demand more gay visibility in pop culture and they point out the inequalities in the portrayal of gay men.

At first I thought, o we shouldn't complain or bother too much about a lack of gay visibility, but then I thought, this is important. The portrayal of a wide variety of non-heterosexual people will pave the way toward a greater acceptance of more than just gay men but the lgbt community at large.

So even though I'm not the type to complain too much about the lack of gay visibility in the media, I think afterelton.com does important and necessary work.

Gender studies has changed how I read things.

I was reading afterelton.com as I frequently do, when I realized that whenever I pass a comment like sissyboy, I just freeze and think about it.

Sissyboy, reinforcing the rigid dichotomy between masculinity and femininity. I'm just not as comfortable listening to that kind of speech anymore. As a minority that is already discriminated against and doesn't necessary have to adhere to traditional masculine and feminine gender roles (seeing as both partners are of the same sex), shouldn't we focus less on gender categorization and more on just being people with flexible gender identities? I'm sure everyone has moments reflecting both traditionally masculine and feminine behaviours, attitudes and/or traits.

Must everyone mow their lawn?

I thought I would have a nice relaxing quiet weekend at home, but no, everyone is so adamant about mowing their lawn, throughout the day. Hmmm... let's see, about 5 people have mowed their lawn within two days.

And this one guy, what a jerk. He did it twice! He lightly went over it with a motorized razor of some sort, then brought out his massive mower. It sucked.

I was thinking of going out at night and salting everyone's lawn, but I didn't have enough salt.

"I have a dream... of a decimated lawn"

I had to be a bitch today.

Someone asked me to borrow my notes for the entire course. I wasn't ready to make a such a commitment to a complete stranger, even if he doesn't speak English that well and is a very shy person.

I did suggest that he ask the prof or someone who doesn't write his notes by hand to send him the notes, wouldn't that be better for everyone?

I need reassurance that I did the right thing. Any takers?

That's what I get for being Mr. Approachable.

More on my studies on homosexuality.

I found research following up on the fraternal birth order effect (the finding that the number of biological elderly brothers that a male sibling has increases the likelihood that that male sibling will be homosexual). For more on the fraternal birth order effect see Breedlove. "Subsequent researchers have suggested that each additional elder brother that a man has increases the likelihood that he will be gay by about 30%! (Gendered Society 3rd edition by Kimmel pg. 46)" It's very interesting but since research on homosexuality is relatively new, we should not swear by this 30% probability just yet.

Okay, same page, also reads "gay men's levels of testosterone were higher than those of heterosexual males". So if you adhere to the notion that testosterone determines a masculine gender identity, then us gay folk are very masculine.

Don't forget that, "gay mens' penis sizes is greater than that of straight men, despite the fact that gay men undergo puberty a bit earlier and are therefore, slightly shorter than straight men, and that gay men report significantly higher amounts of sexual behaviour." Although we should be cautious about self-reports of sexual behaviour, as socially desirable responding or generalized schemas/stereotypes about male/homosexual sexual behaviour may influence self-reports of the frequency of sexual behaviour.

Teehee, I love academia.

Stay-at-Home Gay